The Road to Somewhere

Sick

2011-01-14T23:51:00.001-05:00

A little over a week into one of my resolutions and i'm already falling flat... i've been sick so please don't hold a lack of posts against me... also getting ready for my road trip! I think there will be more pictures than words posted over the next 10 days.

Vitamin C

2011-01-11T09:51:00.002-05:00

I woke up with a cold but luckily the Vitamin C I've been taken has kept it from being much worse...

The Beauty Bar

2011-01-10T09:07:00.003-05:00

This weekend was bittersweet for me. One of my best friend's is moving to Arizona in a few days. Luckily i'm helping her move out there so we will be taking a road trip together starting next weekend. But this Saturday, "the band" went out for one last night of dancing together. We went to the Beauty Bar in NYC. At first the bar seemed like it was going to be a complete bust. Too many people in too tiny of a space. Then they opened the dance floor and that's where the magic happened. We shook our boots to a great mix of the 80's and had a blast! There was an epic moment during Madonna's "Like A Prayer" and it took everything within me not to shed tears because I knew this would be the last time we would all be together like this for awhile. It was a night i'll cherish close to my heart. I also spent time in the city on Sunday - went to church, ate at Eataly... it was soothing to the soul... this whole weekend was. Here's praying for a good week pre-road trip!

Double Thankfulness

2011-01-07T12:29:00.002-05:00

I'm doubling up today because it's been two days of heartfelt camaraderie here at work. Last night we had a goodbye celebration for a co-worker. She's the kind of person who you notice when you walk into a room. Not because she's beautiful & stylish (because she is) but because she's always super nice and always has a smile on her face. Her energy is contagious! It was nice to celebrate her and enjoy some other co-workers who I now consider friends outside of the office environment. Then today I had the pleasure of transcribing for one of our creative guys. He lost his hearing a few years ago and I find him an inspiration. He's battled his way through and is amazing at his job (and also another really sweet person). I'm often asked to transcribe for him because of my speedy typing skills and for some people they may feel put out but for me I enjoy it. I feel like God gives me this responsibility which I also consider a privilege. It centers me on a spiritual level at work which most of the time never happens here. For all the times I want to pull my hair out from 9-5 these are the moments that get me through...

Some of my great co-workers!

Playing Catch

2011-01-06T10:28:00.003-05:00

Last night I worked a snooozetastic college basketball game at the IZOD center. There was MAYBE 500 people in attendance out of an arena that fits 25,000. The highlight of my night came at the end when 3 little kids & their grandfather began playing catch on the concourse right near me. At one point one of the kids overthrew the ball and I ended up playing with them for a bit. It was so fun & so cute! Definitely put a smile on my face and something I was thankful for!

Reality TV

2011-01-05T10:17:00.002-05:00

I didn't have a chance to post yesterday so this morning is Tuesday's thankful thought. Yes, Reality TV. How lame does that sound?! I'll tell you why though. As much as i'm a sucker for bad Reality TV like "Keeping Up With The Kardashian's" that's not what i'm talking about. I'm talking about the reality shows that somehow bring about positive change and encouragement. "The Biggest Loser" started another new season last night. Watching people who are close to me (and even myself) struggle with weight and the health problems associated with it is hard. To see others step in front of millions of television viewers and be pushed to their limit in order to save their life is inspirational. It's also refreshing to see that even if you weigh 500lbs surgery doesn't have to be the only option. You are in control of your own health - nobody but you puts the food in your mouth. I've been lucky enough to have my own home grown inspiration that has helped me want to learn about nutrition and the more I know the more healthier choices I make. If "The Biggest Loser" can help save 1 life and inspire the lives of others then I'm thankful for it.

Sleep

2011-01-03T19:48:00.003-05:00

I go through stretches of insomnia every so often and these last few days have been one of those times. Laying in bed almost in tears because, even though you are utterly and completely exhausted, you can't fall asleep is agonizing. Near painful. Today i'm thankful for the nights when I can sleep. When I'm not staring at a clock watching the hours slip away before I have to work. When I'm not a walking, cranky zombie. When i'm not growing my waistline each extra hour i'm awake (see fact below)

Sleep in. “Studies show people who get less than 6 hours of sleep eat up to 300 calories more during the day because a lack of sleep triggers the production of the hunger hormone, grehlin,” says Marjorie Nolan, RD, CND, CPT and national spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association. Each extra hour of sleep could save you 100 calories. So don’t set your alarm on Saturday, and if you snooze, you lose.

Dear Mr. Sandman - please, please bring me a dream tonight...

my thoughts exactly

My Crew

2011-01-02T22:09:00.002-05:00

Today marked the end of another football season at NMS. For 3 seasons I have had the privilege of working with an incredible group of people who are not just co-workers but friends... "family"... They have my back both in work & out of work (and vice versa). I'm incredibly thankful for them! Here's a group of us freezing at the end of last season.... today we definitely ended on a more "tropical" note...

Welcome 2011

2011-01-01T15:29:00.011-05:00

According to my archives I've had this blog for 4 years now. In those 4 years I have yet to be a consistent blogger. I also never finished a journal either. There are parts of me that miss the days of Xanga (and the blogging crew that came along with it). But alas, as technology surpasses itself on a daily basis, new blogs do to. My resolution for 2011 is to use this old, dusty blog and keep a daily record of things i'm grateful for. With that said - it's January 1st so let's start out with what i'm thankful for today...

Showers! No, not the kind that fall from the sky. I'm talking about the kind that cleanse the body of dirt, grime, & even the occasional emotions. Sometimes there's nothing better than a hot shower at the end of the day. It's also something that gets taken for granted. We don't think twice about how blessed we actually are to have access to a bath, hot water, CLEAN WATER. There are plenty of people in this county and around the globe that don't get to enjoy that type of luxury. When the hot water heater breaks and it takes a day or two to repair that's a First World problem that we shouldn't even complain about (except for how much it actually costs to fix). So next time you jump in the shower take a few minutes and enjoy the blessing it actually is to be able to take one. I think it's a great way to start off my gratitude blog too for 2011... washing away 2010 to usher in the New Year...

Attributes

2010-09-17T22:18:00.000-04:00

God

2010-09-17T21:36:00.000-04:00

New Jersey

2010-08-29T14:08:00.004-04:00

I often am so busy that I don't take the time to stop and enjoy my surroundings. This week i've done just that and have been witness to some breathtaking views...

I'd also like to say that those were taken with my Droid camera phone - amazing!

Jeremiah 29: 11-14

2010-03-15T10:26:00.003-04:00

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

Jeremiah 20:11

2010-03-10T15:44:00.001-05:00

"But the Lord is with me as a dread warrior; therefore my persecutors will stumble; they will not overcome me. They will be greatly shamed, for they will not succeed"

Jeremiah 17:15

2010-03-09T10:57:00.002-05:00

"Thus says the Lord: Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord"

Jeremiah 15-17

2010-03-09T10:46:00.004-05:00

I've been reading but haven't had much of a chance to blog anything. So, I will just continue along with where i'm at now which is Jeremiah. I read this verse today and it really struck me...

"Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts" - Jeremiah 15:16

Job 19-21

2010-02-24T14:20:00.003-05:00

"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth." - Job 19:25

Job 16-18

2010-02-24T14:13:00.003-05:00

"I also could speak like you,
if you were in my place;
I could make fine speeches against you
and shake my head at you.
But my mouth would encourage you;
comfort from my lips would bring you relief." - Job 16: 4-5

Job 13-15

2010-02-22T11:28:00.003-05:00

"Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him." - Job 13:15

Job 10-12

2010-02-21T16:59:00.003-05:00

"To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his. What he tears down cannot be rebuilt..." Job 12: 13-14

Job 7-9

2010-02-21T16:50:00.002-05:00

"He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea. He is the Maker of the Bear and Orion, the Pleiades and the constellations of the south. He performs wonders and miracles that cannot be counted." - Job 9: 8-10

Job 4-6

2010-02-19T11:57:00.003-05:00

“When desperate people give up on God Almighty, their friends, at least, should stick with them.” - Job 6:14

I have been blessed with the most amazing group of friends who have walked through the deserts with me & have reached down to the depths to draw me back to the heart of Christ. I am forever grateful and honored for the blessing of true friendships so wonderfully graced to me by God.

Job 1-3

2010-02-18T15:41:00.000-05:00

“…God gives, God takes.
God’s name be ever blessed.

Not once through all this did Job sin; not once did he blame God.”

Job 1: 21-22

(2/17/2010) Psalm 119

2010-02-18T15:11:00.004-05:00

"Barricade the road that goes Nowhere;
Grace me with your clear revelation.

I choose the true road to Somewhere,
I post your road signs at every curve and corner.”

Psalm 119: 29-30

Garden to City

2010-02-18T14:54:00.003-05:00

I've jumped on board NCC's (National Community Church) "From Garden to City", read through the Bible in an entire year, challenge. I have a hard time absorbing and meditating on things. So i'm going to attempt to dust off this blog and utilize it to try to help me remember and understand what God is revealing to me. It started yesterday (the beginning of Lent) and will end Lent of 2011. If you are with me, great! If it's just me well then God I pray that you will dig down to the deepest parts of me and reveal all that is there and that I may grow according to your word & your will!

Facebook Hellllllllll

2009-08-12T13:07:00.003-04:00

I consider myself a pretty avid social networker. Not only can I navigate some of the unknown inner workings of certain sites but people call me when they need help setting up their own FB or other various social pages. I'm also quite competitive (in all senses of the word). In this case, when I can't figure something out I will keep going with it until I do. Which might explain why I want to pull my hair out today (I've got plenty don't worry).

Yesterday my boss gave me some new responsibilities including managing our company's social networking initiatives (i.e. set up a Facebook & Twitter page). Twitter - piece of cake. Facebook - the souffle that implodes on you (I saw Julie & Julia last night and i'm still preoccupied with food references. Loved the movie by the way!). You know how they have Fan Pages on Facebook. I thought I could set one of those up without having to set up an actual page. I was doing great until I couldn't figure out how to get into network groups or find friends. Then I clicked some link and it created a new FB page with all of my personal info. I activated and deactivated accounts and went back and forth a zillion times trying to delete one without deleting the other. Apparently you can't have a fan page without having a regular FB page. So now i'm navigating 3 sites (my personal, my business, and my business fan page). The business page and the business fan page look exactly alike and I don't quite understand why I have to have both. My head is spinning. I know some people don't understand the need for both Facebook and Twitter and while they both serve different purposes of the same thing (and I do cherish them both) i'm quite thankful for the simplicity of Twitter at the moment and worship the ground it's built on. Follow me on Twitter @nhayes then follow my company @theconnorsgroup

"Julie & Julia" was fantastic - go see it!!! I'll be updating my other blog with the actual review later so stay tuned for the edit and link.

I'm taking the day off tomorrow and going down to Long Beach Island with one of my loves Mrs. Chrissy Romine (hollah!). I've been promising her aunt a visit for almost a decade so we're finally going tomorrow. And of course... beach day = rain. That's the story of my life.

Right now i'm going to jet out real quick and get coffee and then chow down on some Godiva truffles I purchased yesterday. I'm in need of some serious caffeine to get through the rest of this work day which includes a double-header International Soccer game tonight. Rock on...

Resurrection

2009-08-11T12:18:00.002-04:00

Time to bring back the old blog...

I’ve got a lot going on and I find I don’t have much time for the phone nowadays (and who wants to have an entire personal conversation through text message, I sure don’t). I think this will be a good way for you and I to stay in touch again with the comings and goings of my new life. I say new because, let’s face it, i’m approaching 30, i’m single for the first time in 10 years (divorce will do that to you), and i’ve got the world at my fingertips (I just need some fingerpaint). The unknown is thrilling and scary all at the same time.

Speaking of life, yesterday I went to WalMart at lunch (as does half of the working world apparently) and I was walking past all of the school supplies (can you believe it’s that time already?!) and almost had a mini-panic attack. I registered for my GRE in October ($150 for a standarized test which really holds no bearing for the kind of talent people actual do posses is a joke). Anyway, so i’m going back to school. For my Masters. For my Teaching Certification. I mean, I have to pass all of the tests first (which is no small feat mind you) but we’re talking about starting in Spring. I figure i’m just going to keep moving forward as long as God keeps opening the doors (with brown paper bags and a few xanax at the ready).

Going to see "Julie & Julia". I need a movie night with my gal pal sans wine. I've had too much of it lately... lol...

Theme

2009-04-15T14:55:00.002-04:00

I need a theme to keep writing... I'm tempted to do an entire blog of movie reviews... thoughts??

This weekend

2009-03-27T10:57:00.002-04:00

Ahhhhhhhhh i'm sooooo excited for this weekend!!! It's Chrissy's wedding shower... OMG... her WEDDING SHOWER!!! Lots of food, fun, and friends - especially those who are coming from far away that I don't get to see very often. All in town for our very special girl. There is so much to say about Chrissy but I'm going to save it all for after this weekend when I have lots of pictures to post!

Today is finally the first day of spring. Ok, technically it was last week but it snowed the first real day of spring and has been bitter cold ever since. But, not today - it's 65 degrees & sunny! This is the weather i'm talkin' about!

Alright... gotta jet... hopefully a long post on Monday with lots of pics!

Britney's coming to town...

2009-03-25T16:21:00.003-04:00

It's sort of like Santa Claus minus the presents...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,510595,00.html

What's a little more dysfunction to the already dysfunctional Garden State (and I say that with all the pride as I am a Jersey girl through and through - lol).

It's late...

2009-03-05T00:50:00.002-05:00

I can't sleep... grrrrrr...

Ever feel like you can't catch a break?! Seriously, why can't I be one of the NJ people who just won the Mega-Millions?!?! Or my friend who just hit a $25,000 jackpot in Atlantic City?!?! Do you have any idea what I can do with $25,000 or even $10,000 at this point?! Am I blessed to even have a job right now... absolutely... but sometimes I just wish I could catch up. Right when I think I can I get slammed with something that takes more money from my pocket. Anyway...

Thank goodness tomorrow is Thursday. Friday I work the Nickelback concert at the IZOD. Should be fun! Then this weekend is all booked up and I'm looking forward to it - especially the 60 degree weather on Sunday... hallelujah!!!

Alright... i'm going to try to go to bed

Burt's Bees

2009-02-26T09:28:00.002-05:00

I have bypassed that product over and over and over again. I'm your tried & true chapstick lover. Not to mention spending close to $5 on 1 stick of chapstick made of beeswax seemed absolutely ridiculous. But then, to quote Napolean, "my lips hurt REAL BAD" and nothing was doing the trick. Soooo - I did it. I purchased the $5 lip balm and now I can't get enough. It's the perfect combination of softness, mint, and protection. I put it on and my lips tingle with joy!

I finally caught up on the Top Chef finale last night. Karla completely blew it. I loved her - she was always the dark horse who layed low until the last few episodes where she won almost every challenge. Then, CASEY did her in. Why oh why did she let her have so much influence in her final dishes?! Casey was the one who BLEW IT big time 2 seasons ago in the finale. It was truly Karla's to lose and she lost. But, at least Stefan didn't win. I really only believe they kept him over Fabio during the semi's for TV ratings. He was WAY TOO cocky and quite honestly didn't impress me towards the end. So congrats Hosea - you never won a challenge, you cheated on your girlfriend with greasy Leah, and your dishes in the finale really weren't outstanding but somehow you managed to win the whole thing. Good job. I think next season they should do a head to head challenge with Tom Calicchio where the judges have no idea who's dish is who's... he talks a good game but I haven't seen him walk a good game and I'm waitin' for it...

I haven't had my coffee yet and my stomach is making all sorts of grumbling noises. Not to mention i'm procrastinating way too much right now.... ok i'll be back...

Ok, ok...

2009-02-25T15:48:00.002-05:00

Can you all forgive me for not blogging in ooooo... FOREVER! Seriously, the last few blogs - i'm sure - have left you all feeling starved. But i'm back for the most part.

Let's talk about a few things....

I've decided to observe Lent this year. I haven't done it since my Catholic days and this year I wanted to bring something before God that would be a challenge for me. Something I use as an emotional crutch. So, I'm giving up chocolate (are you all finished gasping... please take a breathe... thanks). That means no Snickers, M&M's, Hershey Kisses, any sort of Mocha coffees, brownies, chocolate chip cookies, and the list goes on. Nothing, nada, ziltch. I can do this although I think i'm hallucinating already... I could have sworn I just saw one of those M&M characters run across my computer screen...

I'm going to an AMAZING church, as in, going every Sunday. It's been a LONG time since I was a regular attender. Reasons of which I think are quite understandable. Here's the kicker... this white girl is going to a bilingual Spanish Pentacostal church (did I cause a second gasp?! you might have to get a paper bag at this point). IT... IS... FABULOUS! There is so much healing taking place. The people are true blue, salt of the earth goodness. The Pastor is in your face incredible... I've learned more over the last few weeks than I have over the last few years. The worship is just beyond words. Even when I can't understand it the Spirit moves in ways where it doesn't even matter. And, I finally feel a sense of community again. Having that has opened my eyes to just how badly I've been hurt and how much we as christians need that. Whether or not it becomes my home church, for right now, it's where He has me.

Speaking of... I would not have been going to that church had I not been blessed with my amazing friend Rebecca. I would toss up some pictures on here but you can see them on Facebook. I deleted any and all pictures from this laptop because it was so slow I was ready to beat it with a baseball bat. Anyway, just a little kudos to her on my blog because she has been my rock over the last few months. God has formed a unique bond between us and I cherish our friendship very deeply. She's pretty fantastic and an incredible woman of God. Ya'll need to meet her... for realz...

I have a new love... COFFEE! For years I would only drink coffee in the afternoon and it generally was a sugar filled Starbucks latte. One day a few months ago I was having a really rough start. I was soooo tired and I thought, I NEED coffee... truly... today is the day I need to have it in the morning. That one morning turned into another which turned into another and then another. Now, i'm up to about 3 cups a day and last night I had my first ever VENTI Starbucks at 6pm. I'm an addict.

I'm also addicted to the Houswives of New York City. I love these women!!! I want to meet them, hang out with them, chill at their summer homes in the Hamptons. More so, I want to spend a day with Jill & Bethenny. Those two seem super fun and I can envision them taking me to the coolest parties, drinking the best cocktails, and shmoozing it up with New Yorks finest. I think of these things...

Ok, I need some motivation to keep blogging and to draw more traffic to the site. Should I make the blog more specific to one topic... any thoughts?!

As if I should have expected anything different...

2009-01-13T13:04:00.003-05:00

Supposedly i'll get them tomorrow... not today... I should have had them a month ago if they weren't held for so long

::Sigh::

2009-01-12T15:03:00.001-05:00

Papers will be in my hand tomorrow...

2008-12-04T16:27:00.002-05:00

WHATEVER, WHATEVER, WHATEVER

I've got so much turmoil going on inside of me right now that I don't even know how to deal with it all...

I feel like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane when He's asking that the cup be taken from him and yet He knows that His Father's will must be done. And so my life must continue to move forward with whatever divine purpose is before it but right now my emotions are just incredibly intense and I would love to have some sort of release...

In my soul

2008-11-20T13:06:00.002-05:00

There's a place deep down inside me that wonders, that agonizes over why the men in my life never fought for me. No, not a physical fight - but a deep, get past your own issues, come rescue and cherish the one you love kind of fight. It's painful today...

Tis the season...

2008-11-13T15:29:00.003-05:00

I was a little over ambitious yesterday. I practically packed my entire apartment up and moved it to my sisters apartment all on my own. Can you tell i'm eager to get on with this part of my life. I would have taken pictures of my car, which if a cop pulled me over he would have thought I was living out of with the way it looked, but the camera on my phone no longer works. In the drugged up haze (cold medicine) over the weekend I dropped my phone in a cup of tea. ::just realized i posted about this in the last one... oh well...:: Luckily that was the only water damage. Although, the buttons are starting to really stick but the phone itself and texting still work fine. Remember the days without cell phones - how in the world did we live like that? I have a friend who doesn't own a cell phone... yes... doesn't OWN A CELL PHONE... and i'm kind of envious of her. LOL

The more and more I think about the upcoming holiday's the more at ease I am about them. I went and got a Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks today and there's something about the 'bux at this time of year that immediately puts me in the Christmas spirit. I think it's the red holiday cup and the goodness that comes inside it that brings it out. There truly is something comforting about a Starbucks coffee - marketing geniuses they are! Something as simple as a red cup can make people happy...

The big move is the 23rd. Over the next week I have to paint my new bedroom. I'm going with an Italian Rustic theme. Deep red walls, gold trim, european art on the walls. It's going to be my little hideaway. I want to be transported into another time and place when I enter it. I'm determined to have pictures so keep your eyes peeled on my blog for them when it's done.

Oh and my VOICE IS GETTING BETTER!!! The cold is finally going away and the medicine that I have to help my vocal cords finally has a chance to do its job. And, I think it's working. I think - let's keep our fingers crossed and our prayers coming...

Sick

2008-11-07T15:22:00.003-05:00

It appears all of the stress and the medications i've been on have worn my immune system down to nothing. I've been in bed sick the past two days. I think a vacation to a tropical island is the only remedy at this point - lol.

In the middle of my drug induced delirium last night I dropped my cell phone in the cup of tea I had on my nightstand. I managed to pull it out rather quickly and save it from complete water damage. The only thing that doesn't work now is the camera. I got lucky considering.

Alright, going back to bed...

I voted...

2008-11-04T16:13:00.000-05:00

Did you????????????

And the winner is....

2008-11-03T15:31:00.004-05:00

We'll know tomorrow and spend the next four years worrying about the 2012 election. It never ends and yet as annoying as it is it's a constant reminder of the freedom of democracy. We should be ever greatful to the men and women who served and are serving this country to defend that (::Cough cough:: especially a certain Presidential Candidate who spent years of his life as P.O.W.). I'll spare the political jargon on this blog. I'm over the political debates. I'm voting for McCain. I have my reasons. I will say three things though 1. visit Allison's blog (a.k.a The Cat under my blogging junkies on my page) 2. Vote because you believe in what your candidate stands for not because you hate the other candidate. Take your vote seriously. Know your facts! 3. I fear for a unbalanced government. Checks & Balances are there for a reason and if tomorrow shifts that weight in all 3 branches in one direction it will be a scary 4 years. I will say that it will be sink or swim for the Democrats if they have that power. I have my thoughts on that but again will not be shared here. Get involved - use your freedom wisely. Everything effects YOU - the American Citizen - even if you turn off and tune out.

Now, onto other news...

I went for a 2nd opinion for my vocal cords today (technically it's the 3rd but my 1st doctor was a quack). I found my old doctor last Thursday by chance. He moved out of the practice that I used to go to and I spent a year trying to find him. After tears, prayers, and angry journal entry on Wednesday I truly believe God stepped in when I found him the following day. Dr. Citarelli is the kind of doctor that takes the time to sit with you and LISTEN to what the problem is. He thinks, he analyzes, and he doesn't just write a prescription and send you on your way. I trust him. So today we sat for 20 minutes discussing the last 5 months of my chronic throat/vocal cord problem. He took me off everything my ENT had me on (which i decided to go off myself this past weekend because I wasn't feeling any different on or off of the meds) and put me two new meds (Astelin & Singulair) plus home remedies (salt water gargle, honey, and a humidifier). He doesn't think there's anything serious causing my vocal cords to swell (the ENT said the same thing) and believes it's just allergies. So, 6 weeks of this and he is pretty sure it will be better. If not, he's going to send me to a different ENT. Let's hope and pray that I WILL be better in 6 weeks because 1. I don't want to go to ANOTHER doctor and 2. My insurance is good but not that good to keep funding all of this.

Other than that, my life (as usual), is one giant rollercoaster. I'm banking on a good 2009 - anything has to be better than this...

::EDIT::

I was just browsing some news sites and I just want to share one thought. I truly believe George W. Bush will go down as one of the greatest Presidents in history. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow but someday this country will come to see all the good he has done both here and abroad.

Love

2008-10-31T11:28:00.001-04:00

"We cannot live unaffected by love. We are most alive when we find it, most devastated when we lose it, most empty when we give up on it, most inhumane when we betray it, and most passionate when we pursue it."

Frustrated

2008-10-29T14:05:00.003-04:00

I'm completely frustrated. Right around the end of April I woke up one Saturday morning and had no voice (well, I had a voice but barely). I remember the day clearly because I had gone out dancing the night before. I figured it was just laryngitis so I waited it out a week or so because there was no pain associated with it. Sometimes my voice would get better, sometimes it would get worse. I finally decided to suck it up and make a doctors appointment. He gave me a Z-pak and said it was chronic laryngitis and to just rest my voice. It got better for a little while but nowhere near 100%. I figured "chronic laryngitis" - ok well I guess this is something i'll have to live with from this point forward i'll just have to learn how to manage it. So, I did all of the web research and since there were no serious causes to it I let it be. After ohhhh 5 months of not once having my voice at 100% I made an appointment for an ENT. When I went they put a nice little scope up my nose and down my throat (not a good feeling AT ALL). He said I had a raging throat infection and swollen adnoids which are at the top of your nose. He prescribed me strong antibiotics and a ton of allergy medicine. 2 weeks later my voice still wasn't better so I made a 2nd appointment. This time he went deeper into my throat. Probably the most uncomfortable feeling ever. I gagged almost the entire time. Good news was the infection was gone bad news was my vocal cords were still swollen. Next treatment - 6 day dose of oral steroids, acid reflux medicine, plus all of the allergy medicine I was already on. By the end of the 6 days my voice started to sound better and I really thought I was on the road to recovery until Monday night. I strained my voice again at the Coldplay concert and it's not getting any better. This is now 6 months where I haven't had my voice at 100%. When my voice started to heal last week someone actually said they didn't even recognize me because they've gotten used to my raspy voice. I want to be better, I want to have my voice back, I want this over with. It's literally brought me to tears a handful of times because it's just a chronic problem with no real solution in site. That's where i'm at today. I have a follow-up ENT appointment in 4 weeks. I really don't want to go on any more medicine. I want this to heal and I want my voice back to 100%.

Untitled

2008-10-23T13:27:00.003-04:00

"Here’s the deal, when things happen in our lives that are jarring or disorienting, a shipwreck or a snakebite, it rattles the cage. You get a bad diagnosis or a pink slip or divorce papers and what happens is those things cause the compass needle to spin in our lives and we’re wondering which way is up? What is God doing? But I think it is in those situations that we need to realize that the Bible says it rains on the just and the unjust. Bad things do happen to good people, but here’s the good news, all things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to His purpose. It is not that we are immune to all these things that happen, it is that God can use them for His purposes and that’s what we hang onto. In a sense, I have this mental picture of Paul hanging onto driftwood in the Mediterranean until they finally make it to shore. And by the way, sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is hang in there. If you are at that place, hang in there! I believe you are going to make it to shore, and here’s what I’ve discovered in my life, sometimes the worst thing that happens to us can turn out to be the best thing that happens to us because God has a way of using those things to lay a foundation in our lives and to prepare us for what He wants. And I might suggest that sometimes we get so focused on getting where God wants us to go that we totally forget that God is far more concerned with who we are becoming in the process. Listen, God is going to get you where God wants you to go, that’s His business! But He’s not going to get you there until you are ready to get there, and who are you becoming is far more important than where you are going. So it is in these situations that God is working His purposes in our lives." - Mark Batterson (The Cage of Failure)

Broken Road

2008-10-21T13:49:00.002-04:00

Bless The Broken Road

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving armsThis much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

In the midst of all of what i'm going through how about a few things i'm thankful for...

1. God - He is so very near and present even when I feel soooo lost!
2. My family - as crazy as they are I love them
3. Friends - honestly could not make it through without them. Each one has played a special role in my life and I'm so very blessed and thankful.
4. Reconnecting with old friends - this year i've been given the blessing of reconnecting with two very important people in my life. It's absolutely incredible.
5. Glimpses of light when all seems dark - this one is very personal for me but in the darkest moments and the times when I feel i'm at the end of my rope Jesus is there shining his light and giving me hope when all seems hopeless.
6. Liz - she gets a special shoutout. God has used her in countless ways in my life, especially over the last year. She's my guardian angel.
7. My job - not only am I thankful for it for financial reasons but in many ways my girls here have become like family to me.
8. The outdoors - I love being outside. I love blue, sunny skies and clear, crisp nights. The beauty of nature draws me closer to the heart of God.
9. Softball - what an outlet that is for me. I miss it - I would play all year round if I could.
10. Love - there's no worse feeling and there is no better feeling

I could go on but i'll leave it off at 10. I know it's been awhile since my last update. I'm on an incredible journey that's very, very personal. I haven't felt like blogging in awhile because of it. Stick with me - as scattered as they are I will continue updating when I feel it's time to.

Lighter Look

2008-09-10T13:17:00.010-04:00

I felt the blog needed a lighter look. I'll probably change it come Fall when the weather is cool and the leaves are changing. Fall is probably my favorite season. The colors, the cool but not cold air, pumpkins, apple cider, warm blankets, pies, etc. Love it!

However, we are entering holiday season which, I normally am super excited for, but this year not so much. It's the first year in 8 years without Tommy. Where do I even begin to deal with that. While the thought of not running around to a million different houses thrills me it also makes me very sad. I'm not dwelling on it this early on since it's still September but Halloween and Thanksgiving are right around the corner.

Moving on... I gots myself a part-time job yesterday. Security at the Meadowlands. I get to work the football games, concerts, and whatever else they have going on for a decent hourly wage. I definitely need the extra income. I do have to tell you though that in order to get this job I had to take a 434-question true/false psych test. One of those tests that are the same questions, asked over and over, in a million different ways. Such as, "You often lose your temper" followed a few questions later with, "You don't have much patience", and then a few more questions later, "You are easily angered". Oh, and it was a scantron. My hand was KILLING me and my eyes were crossed by the time I was done. I would love to see the test results. How would one even go about failing something like that and what does the result say, "crazy"?

The last few weeks have been up, down, and everywhere in between. I ventured to Coney Island before it closed, our softball team won the Sparta Championship (and I played a huge part), rocked a bachelorette party, and I've been here there and everywhere with my friends and my emotions. How about a picture montage for your visual amusement

Let's also mention the fact that I rode the Cyclone not once but TWICE! From the outside it looks like your average rollercoaster but when you are on it there are so many drops and turns mixed in that you end up screaming the entire time. The second time E & I rode it we were in the front car. That first drop was TERRIFYING! I have a picture of our faces on my keychain. I wish I could scan it and upload it.

I don't have many other pictures because I didn't have my camera at the other events but I will this weekend since I have my friends wedding on Friday. I've been looking forward to this one all summer.

Sidenote: Panera coffee is not even closely comparable to Starbucks - nih. The boys at my office got me an Iced Skim Mocha from Panera today. I'm extremely disappointed.

Alright, how's that for an update. Oh, I'll leave you with a fun picture of my transient roommate Liz (this is from Sarah's birthday way back in January). It's definitely been a blessing having her around...

Two Things

2008-09-04T10:52:00.002-04:00

1. Sarah Palin's speech was amazing! She totally rocked it and tuned me back into this election.
2. The new NKOTB album is off the hook. Yes, I said 'off the hook'. It's got some serious beats and tight harmonies. If you liked their single "Summertime" get it - you won't be disappointed.

I just don't have the energy to blog a lot lately. Let's just say a lot has been going on (when is a lot never going on). Keep checking back though. I haven't left blogland for good!

Sunny Days

2008-08-20T11:36:00.001-04:00

Alright, so I know my posts have been a major downer as of late. It’s no wonder why my comments are just about nonexistent. I promise to do my best to make these updates more upbeat starting with today.

It’s been a really long time since I had an overall good day and yesterday was one of them. I was finally able to spend some MUCH NEEDED quality time with my friend Kim. She’s like a sister to me. I’ve known her for over 10 years and our friendship goes through these weird cycles where we won’t talk for a very long time and then somehow we reconnect and it’s like we spent no time apart. We just pick up right where we left off. Last night I was finally able to catch her up on what my life has been like over the last few years. There is a support system there in our friendship that is just so natural and it was the first time in a long time that I just felt calm and at rest in the midst of this chaos. Not to mention we had a fantastic dinner. Christin I’m sorry I don’t have any pictures for you! We came back to my apartment in Westfield so she could scope out my place and then we went to dinner at one of the local restaurants – The Brick Oven. I’ve eaten there before and it’s pretty good. It’s your typical Italian restaurant (of which there are about 5 in Westfield and downtown Westfield is only about 4 blocks). But they are all good so I’m not complaining. There’s actually a really good variety of restaurants in Westfield that I have yet to try but that’s a topic for another day. Anyway, best part was that we were able to sit outside because it was GORGEOUS out! Kim and I decide to order a bunch of appetizers instead of entrees for dinner. On the list – Bruschetta, Baked Little Neck Clams Oreganata (Kim loves them – I hate seafood), and Asparagus wrapped in Mozzarella, Prosciutto, and Roasted Peppers. Can I just tell you that the Asparagus dish was probably one of the most amazing foods I have ever eaten. It was a party in my mouth!!! I couldn’t get enough of it! We both liked it so much that Kim is probably having it put on the menu at her family’s restaurant that they own. I wish I had a picture of this perfection. After dinner we made our way to my local hangout 16 Prospect. We had some non-alcoholic beverages and continued to talk and catch up. It was a nice, relaxing evening. Right around 10:30 we both pretty much crashed from exhaustion. It takes me all week to catch up from the lack of sleep I get on the weekends.

When I was all ready and tucked into bed I called Sarah and we had one of the best heart to hearts we’ve had in months. I was not anticipating the conversation but I’m glad it happened. Needless to say my bedtime got pushed back about an hour but it was well worth it. I also had a few other things happen yesterday that I’m looking forward to so it was a positive day. I needed it.

The next few days are pretty low key with the exception of Friday. Today I’m doing dinner and laundry at my moms. Tommy is coming to get his stuff at the apartment so I’m going to steer clear of Westfield for a little while. Not that him and I are on bad terms at all – it’s just too emotional. Tomorrow after work I’m going to see about a second job at the Meadowlands. My parents know a few people and I would love to get in there and work some concerts, shows, and games and make some extra $$$. Afterwards I have a late counseling session and then Liz is coming over to measure out the spare room I have. She’s going to be living with me for 2 months starting in September until her new apartment is ready in November. I’m actually looking forward to it. Liz is someone that balances me in a way that nobody else really does. It’ll be nice to have her around considering all I’m going through right now. Friday is the big day though. I get out of work at 1, hopefully I’ll hang with Estrella for a bit, and then it’s off to the city for Caroline’s bachelorette party!! Woohooo…. Me, Trish, Francie, Dawn, and Vanda are bringing Caroline to Lucky Cheng’s for some serious good times. Then we’re hoping to close out the night at an 80’s club. I can’t wait. When us girls are together it can get pretty wild and crazy. Saturday will be an R&R day after Friday and then Sunday – Sunday I can’t wait. I’m meeting Kim’s son Connor. I met him awhile back when he was about 1 ½ so he doesn’t remember me at all because that was the last time I saw him. I’m so excited. He’s 4 now and super adorable. That’s about how the rest of this week and weekend are rounding out.

Hope you enjoyed a happier update. It’s beautiful outside and will be all week. I wish I wasn’t stuck in this office!!!

Broken by Lifehouse

2008-08-18T09:40:00.004-04:00

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hangin' on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

************************************************************

This song has become my anthem

Tired

2008-08-11T11:46:00.001-04:00

Emotionally, physically, spiritually - exhausted

Lately no matter how much sleep I get it's never enough. I feel like I could sleep for days. Signs of depression... i know.

Love & Love Lost

2008-08-07T15:52:00.001-04:00

As my friends rejoice in engagements, weddings, anniversaries, and new babies I’m left feeling more alone and isolated than ever. I’m so ecstatic for each and every one of those moments and I celebrate with them but the reality of where I’m at is never more piercing than at those times. It’s hard to hear sounds of happiness when your own world is crashing down around you. The breakdown of love and marriage is extremely painful, scary, and lonely. We fought to make it work for so long but at the end of the day we raised the white flag and tossed in the towel. Critics can say what the want but we know how hard it was, we know what we went through, and we know we didn’t take the easy way out. I have a better appreciation for those who are going through and have gone through divorces. Unless you walk a mile in their shoes you have no idea what it’s like.

I’m 27 and entering a world I know nothing about. 8 years of my life, 8 years of my heart, 8 years of my dreams are now gone. At 19 you think you can conquer the world but at 27 you know with a quick flash the world can conquer you. Everything is new – living on my own, handling my own finances, even being single. I haven’t been single since I’ve been 14 years old. No, I’m not one of those people that always has to be with somebody but I’ve also never been that person to just play the field. In all of it there is an overwhelming sense of FEAR. Yet (when I stop to embrace these moments) there is a whole world ahead of me that I can make my own. It’s exciting and nauseating all at the same time.

It’s all still very raw. There is still so much to resolve. But at least there’s movement. I’m not sure what is worse – sitting in stagnation where nothing is being accomplished or having your life completely upended just so you can move forward with it. I’m actually thinking stagnation is worse since I’ve experienced them both.

I felt compelled to blog about this today. I haven’t shared the exact nature of my marital problems on here before but I thought it was time to give you a glimpse into my world as it exists right now since there’s no going back. I haven’t lost my faith in God, men, or love. Am I questioning what it all means – absolutely. But do I believe in all three – absolutely.

Update

2008-08-04T13:03:00.001-04:00

There's an update on the blog link below. Isaac Ross Morgan was born on Saturday!!! He's doing well (and Mom is doing well too). Congratulations Allison & Chad!! I love you guys!!!

Life Happens

2008-08-01T11:46:00.003-04:00

My friend is having her baby today - premature. They've been through hell and back to see this wonderful boy brought into this world. It's not happening as planned but God's plans are not our own. Please, please pray for them. Read her blog - it's tremendously raw and real. There are so many reasons for my tears right now...

http://www.mylostandfoundoflife.blogspot.com/

The Boss!!!

2008-07-28T12:12:00.000-04:00

Bruce Springsteen – true Jersey! I’ve seen him 4 times and each time he has been great. I reconnected with an old friend of mine this week and she called me on Saturday to see if I wanted to go to the Springsteen concert on Sunday night. Giants Stadium – section 131. For those that know the Stadium those are AMAZING seats. I wish I could have found my camera to prove it but you’ll have to just trust me. Last night, my 5th Bruce concert, was PHENOMENAL. The best yet!! The guy is approaching 60 and he sounds just as good as he did when he was 20. Not only that but he was rockin’ out, dancing, sliding – truly engaging the crowd. The best part of the night (for those who are fans – you’ll appreciate this) was his closing set. Here is the entire set list which was great (and before the encore he played for 2 ½ hours straight) but take a look at the last 5 songs! The stadium was OUT OF CONTROL!!!

Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out, Radio Nowhere, Lonesome Day, Adam Raised A Cain, Spirit In The Night, Summertime Blues, Brilliant Disguise, Atlantic City, Growin' Up, Janey Don't You Lose Heart, I'll Work For Your Love, Youngstown, Murder Incorporated, The Promised Land, Livin' In The Future, Mary's Place, Working On The Highway, Tunnel Of Love, The Rising, Last To Die, Long Walk Home, Badlands

Girls In Their Summer Clothes, Jungleland, Born To Run, Bobby Jean, Dancing In The Dark, American Land, Rosalita

I needed it. I needed the concert, I needed the time with Kim – all around it was therapeutic to my soul. Thank goodness I spent Saturday night on my couch though. Simply Sleep knocked me out for 10 hours – I took it at 10:30pm Saturday night and woke up at 9:30 Sunday morning. It was great! The best sleep I’ve had in WEEKS! It made up for the lack of sleep I got last night. It took us over an hour to get back to Belleville (which is only a 5/10 min ride from the stadium). I was going to stay at my sisters since she lives in Belleville and it’s a quick ride to work from there in the morning. I get there, I put my pj’s on, I sit on the couch and I realize that I forgot my laptop at home. I absolutely need my laptop for work. So, I had to drive home at 1:30am last night. Good times. I was exhausted and I still am.

Let’s roll back to the weekend though. Friday night I took a little road trip into New York to bring E home. Love spending time with her. She loves to talk like I do so it was a fun ride. Saturday, Sarah & I went down to her parent’s boat and we laid poolside. Talk about R&R – the weather, the pool, the company was all perfect. So the last 4 days (because Thursday night was fun too) have really helped my spirits. Even though I’m tired I feel good. Which will help when we play the other first place team tonight. This is the most important game of the year. We beat them for the Championship last year. They thought they had it in the bag and even had an article ready to run in the Sparta newspaper and we came in and knocked them off their throne. So, they are out for blood. We are both tied for first so this game will setup the rest of the season for who stays in that first place spot.

Today is moving pretty quickly. I need coffee – STAT!

Bring the Rain by Mercy Me

2008-07-24T10:58:00.001-04:00

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Shattered

2008-07-23T08:56:00.002-04:00

Psalm 6:2-4

Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long?
Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love

Psalm 62:5

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him

Isaiah 40:31

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint

Romans 5:3-5

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Summer Frostbite

2008-07-21T08:47:00.002-04:00

Monday has rolled around yet again. If it's any indication as to how this week is going to go - the first thing I did when I came into work this morning was spill a giant cup of water all over me. I would love to say I did this for the fun of it but no. I was setting up my computer and reaching underneath to plug it in when I knocked one of my picture frames over which knocked the cup of water over I left on my desk from last week which spilled ALL OVER my shirt. Not to mention that it's just about freezing in my office so I'm lucky the water didn't turn to ice.

Speaking of... why can't buildings be set to a normal temperature during the summer time?! Why must it be artic cold to counteract the heat outside?? I'm all for temps between 67-71 in an office but here it usually ranges between 55-60 (I kid you not). It's almost impossible to dress like a normal human being. You want to dress for the heat outside but you also don't want to freeze to death inside. So today I dressed for warmth even though it's a steamy 90 degrees outside. I'm hoping to usher in the fall early (or at least break the heat wave) with the color scheme i'm wearing. I have a burnt orange 1/4 sleeve shirt, brown pants, and orange & brown flops. There's nothing bright and summery about me today - lol.

This summer is flying by and I can't even handle it. Can you all believe I have yet to lay my rear end on a beach?!? There is something so severely wrong with that. I live in Jersey - i'm supposed to be parked at the Jersey Shore during the summertime. Apparently not this season. I'd like to get there just once though - just ONCE. Is that too much to ask?? I can't complain because i've had some great weekends but i'm determined to beach it in August. Maybe i'll go this coming Sunday - who's in??

I took a mental health day on Friday. I definitely needed it. This weekend was filled with anxiety, drama, tears, frustration, and pain but also with love, caring, humor, fun, and relaxation. I'm sure I can toss a few more adjectives in there to describe it but I think that's a good summary. Outside of all of the difficulties & turmoil that surround my life right now I am incredibley blessed. I need to focus on the good because it's so easy to get caught up in everything that's going wrong. And there was a lot of good this weekend. I spent some amazing quality time (and some really fun times) with someone who is quickly becoming one of my best friends (I love you E - yep you now get a shout out on the blog since you'll probably read this... lol), I took a road trip and got to know Chrissy's future husband (Jay you are fabulous & funny - as torturous as it was i'm glad Saturday happened because it helped me get to know you more) and spent some much needed time with her (Chrissy - I love you. You have been my friend for nearly a decade now and my life would not be the same without you. I don't know how I could have gotten through Saturday night if you weren't there), I fell in love with New York all over again, I danced, I ate amazing food, I laughed, I spent some fun time outdoors, I played with my friends nieces and there's something so refreshing in the heart & soul of little kids, I watched a good friend get married - all things I need to be thankful for. All things that help me get through this season of my life.

No softball today (and no segue into the next topic of conversation -lol). I'm supposed to do dinner with a friend but I don't think that's happening since I haven't heard from her. Which means I should probably do laundry since i'll have the time tonight. Ugh - I HATE laundry. HATE, HATE, HATE. When i'm rich i'm hiring someone to do it for me. Actually, when i'm rich i'm going to live my life in a bathing suit on a tropical island so I won't need to hire anyone to do my laundry because I won't have any. So, laundry & i'll probably catch up on some shows I have DVR'd. That's my life tonight.

Alright, I should do some actual work. "Looks like someone's got a Case of the Monday's"

Joanna: So, where do you work, Peter?
Peter Gibbons: Initech.
Joanna: In... yeah, what do you do there?
Peter Gibbons: I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch.
Joanna: What's that?
Peter Gibbons: Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.
Joanna: Oh, really? About an hour ago... so you're gonna get another job?
Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'd like another job.
Joanna: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and...
Peter Gibbons: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either.
Joanna: Well, so what do you wanna do?
Peter Gibbons: I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my apartment and watch 'Kung Fu'. Do you ever watch 'Kung Fu'?
Joanna: I love 'Kung Fu'.
Peter Gibbons: Channel 39.
Joanna: Totally.
Peter Gibbons: You should come over and watch 'Kung Fu' tonight.
Joanna: Ok. Ok. Can we order lunch first? Ok.

Psalm 42

2008-07-16T09:58:00.000-04:00

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"

These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"

My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?"

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Life is...

2008-07-14T14:55:00.001-04:00

Painful

Weddings, weddings, and more weddings

2008-07-09T15:46:00.002-04:00

Next weekend starts my wedding season. I have 3 weddings in the next 3 months. Next Saturday is Jenn & Jay's in Connecticut. It's special to me because I've watched Jay grow tremendously over the last few years and Jenn is truly his soul mate. In August I have a very fancy & expensive wedding in Newark. It's an all day affair with 2, yes 2 receptions. It'll be fun but not exactly my cup of tea. In September I have my friend Caroline's wedding. I am thoroughly looking forward to it because I will be at a table with all of my friends from work, good food, and great music. Not that any of the other wedding's won't have that but she's Cuban and those Cuban's know how to party.

I think I found my dress for the weddings as well. I can do a triple showing of it since there won't be a repeat person at any of them. I would display it here but I want it to be a surprise for those who will be seeing me. Let's just say it's very fun and very Marilyn Monroe. I'm not 100% sold on it but i'm close.

It's almost Friday... thank goodness!! The hair is getting done on Saturday. Any suggestions for colors?? I'm keeping the length just putting a ton of layers in it since it's so heavy.

I seriously need a vacation - a vacation all by myself. I need to think, clear my head, get myself focused on what I want to do with my life. I'm a disaster.

Happy 4th!!!

2008-07-03T10:18:00.003-04:00

I know the 4th of July is tomorrow but I won't be working (or blogging) so I'm sending my best wishes today!

Softball has been great this week. It truly is saving me from myself right now. This is going to be a short post but I've been going through a lot of stuff lately as most of you know (or have read). Last night was a difficult night and I'm laying down some hard boundaries in certain relationships. I often doubt myself and want to retract but I read this quote this morning and it really gave me some much need encouragement...

The keynote speaker at the breakfast, Hollywood producer Mark Joseph, quoted a recent cover article in Christianity Today by professors Daniel Taylor and Mark McCloskey that said:

"In premodern times, the courage of a leader often had to be physical. In the last 500 years it is more often moral. Moral courage is the ability to do what's right even when it is deeply unpopular, even dangerous. Courage is only found where there is the genuine possibility of loss -- loss of friends, reputation, status, power, possessions or, at the extremes, freedom or life."

Have a good holiday! Enjoy some fireworks - I know I will!!!

Two posts - One day

2008-07-01T15:15:00.002-04:00

I know!!! Mark this day on your calendar because it will probably be the only time you'll see this happen.

Read the post below first then come up to this one. I just listened to an online sermon about the Dangers of the Emerging Church. Rob Bell was mentioned in it and I have some serious issues with him and his beliefs. But outside of him I do have some major concerns in regards to this topic. I want to hear your thoughts about the "Emerging Church" good or bad.

So, if I still have readers out there it's your turn to weigh in. I'm listening!!!!

Have some consideration

2008-07-01T09:35:00.002-04:00

If you guys thought I was lying about the IcyHot think again. I'm not kidding when I say I feel like a 70 year old woman this morning. It hurts to laugh, cough, move my arm - just plain move in general - lol. But for all of the physical anguish i'm in today i'm in a great mood. Softball is very theraputic for me. And I needed it after my day yesterday.

Ahhhh yes, the day. Monday. Why are Monday's always the worst. I blog about this all of the time and it never ceases to amaze me just how awful they are. Whatever emotional barracade I build up over the weekend comes crashing down around me. I'm so not kidding about this. I'll spare you the details of the morning because it's way too personal but in the afternoon my boss called me into her office for another "closed door" meeting. I find that i've been getting these once a month since about January. Apparently my job performance sucks. It wasn't exactly said like that but it was pretty darn close. Why you might ask. Because my boss is a micromanager and nitpicks about the DUMBEST things - like her 10 minute rant about how I didn't say hi to her 2 weeks ago when she walked in the door. I say hi to EVERYBODY when they walk in. I remember that day clearly. First of all it was a ROUGH morning and second I was so super busy that I didn't even hear her say Hi. It was the first and only time i've ever not said it. After that she sugarcoated it with, "look, i know you have a lot of personal stuff going on and I haven't lost faith in you. I believe in you and that this downturn will pass... yada, yada" It was nice but once your kicked when you are already down the sugarcoating isn't all that sweet. Now, could my job performance be improved - absolutely. But, i'm bored. I do the same thing everyday which is pretty much sit here, answer phones, and edit resumes. I'm way over qualified for this job. That's not me bragging... it's the truth. The problem is 1. I love everyone I work with 2. My bosses really are great bosses 3. I can come and go whenever I pretty much want, make my own hours, and we get tons of time off for holiday's and vacations 4. It's a steady job and with the economy the way it is i'd be crazy to jump ship 5. If i ever pass my Praxis next month this job will give me the flexibility to go to school. So you see - as much as I want to spork my eyes out it makes no sense to look elsewhere.

Let's now talk about the title of this blog - have some consideration. Every Tuesday starting from today until the end of the summer is Jazz night in Westfield. People swarm into Westfield like cockroaches to listen to the live Jazz bands they have playing all around town. The stores are open late, sidewalk restaurants and cafes are buzzing, and there are a ton of things for the kids to do. But the town is PACKED. So, instead of fighting the traffic later on this evening from this point forward I will be taking the train on Tuesdays. Now, if I wasn't so lazy in the morning i'd catch the 7:17 train. But, because i'm lazy I usually catch the 7:42 express train into Newark. I left my house at 7:30 to take the 5 minute walk to the train which would leave me over 5 minutes to buy a ticket. The first of the month at a station is like the first of the month at a welfare office. The line to buy the tickets was ridiculous. So much so that the train pulled up early at 7:39 and I watched the train pull away at 7:42 still waiting in line to get a ticket. The next train was at 7:50 and it was a local train - no big deal. The guy that was 2 people ahead of me (now, we ALL can see there is a really LONG line) decides to buy 10 one way tickets. 10! These ticket machines print like your watching paint dry. I didn't see 10 people with him. Is there a need to buy 10 one way tickets NOW??!! Needless to say I BARELY made the 7:50 train but I did - thank goodness.

Between softball yesterday and taking the train today I realized that I need to slow my life down. I'm always in such a rush and I try to be in too many places at one time. I blame my parents for that. Some of you know my mom (and I love her) but if you don't - if I need to be somewhere and i'm not there 1 minute early all hell breaks loose. My mom loses her mind on me. So I have an unrealistic sense of urgency almost all the time. Plus, it's a control thing for me. If I take the trian I really have no control over times or when i'm getting somewhere. If I have my car I can come and go whenever I want and there's no waiting (unless there's traffic of course and in traffic my stress level goes from 0 to 10 in less than a second). I'm way to wound up, way too stressed, and I care way too much about being places if there really isn't a specific time to be somewhere. Who wants to live life at warp speed or constantly stressed?! I mean, I know I live in the Northeast at the center of the world pretty much but I can at least attempt to slow down. It will never be a snails pace but maybe it'll be a little bit slower than what it is now.

We have this radio in the office that usually plays 100.3, 103.5, or 95.5 - all Top 40 stations pretty much. There is this guy in our office who sits at a desk pretty close to my front desk. He has his own radio. He INSISTS on playing Iron Maiden and death metal every morning and then again late in the afternoon. Not only that but he plays it soooo loud that I can't even concentrate. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!! You ask him to turn it down and he flips out. Complains that the other radio is too loud and since he hates listening to it he has to drown it out by playing his extra loud. It's an everyday battle. Can you imagine listening to Iron Maiden every morning without wanting to throw yourself off a building???

Short week for me - we have a half day on Thursday and then off on Friday. So far I have no idea what i'm doing really. The game plan is fireworks at Brookdale park Thursday night with Tommy and a bunch of friends. Brookdale fireworks by the way are probably the best in NJ. I'm hoping the pool at Sarah's parents boat on Friday. Saturday is a BBQ at my parents trailer and Sunday I will be vegging in front of the TV (I hope). That's the game plan for the holiday weekend.

Alright - even though it's Tuesday it's technically my Wednesday. Woohooo!!

Softball

2008-06-30T08:49:00.004-04:00

Today is my first softball game of the season. From now until the middle of August I have a game every Monday and Wednesday night. Last year we were the league Champions so we're hoping for a repeat. It's definitely pretty competitive (if it wasn't I wouldn't drive almost an hour to play 2 days a week).

I'm so behind on the updates. It's not that I don't want to blog I just feel like my life really isn't all that interesting. So let's talk about the weekend

Friday night I went to Adega with my friend E in Newark. Not a big place but definitely fun. Good mix of music - Hip Hop, Top 40, Reggae, Latin. The floors light up like you are playing a giant game of Simon (not Simon Says - Simon the memory game). Saturday I was finally able to drag Sarah along for a weekend adventure. It's been awhile since we actually hung out on a Friday or Saturday. We went into the city because we were meeting Estrella at this club in Midtown - Mantra. I can't quite figure out what the big deal is about this club. It's definitely one of those places that's tough to get in to. Once we got into the VIP section it was better but it was way too crowded and way too hot. We still had fun though. After two days of dancing my hamstrings were definitely a little sore (how sad is that).

And let's talk about being sore... I had softball practice yesterday ontop of two days of dancing. My body is getting OLD. I'm cracking and popping all over the place. My butt, shoulders, hips, arms, legs - all sore. And I have a game tonight. Tomorrow will be a whole post on IcyHot & heating pads.

God is really teaching me a lot lately. I hate it and love it all at the same time. Actually, what I mostly hate is being so self-aware. What I mean by being so self-aware is the awareness of all of my insecurities in relationships (including trust issues which feed into my abandonment issues). They are on the forefront of everything lately since that seems to be what He wants me to work on.

It's Monday right. I was the first one into the office so I thought i'd be nice and make coffee. For some reason I could not get the coffeemaker to work. I checked the plug, I checked the grinder - nothing. My boss comes in and I tell him our coffeemaker isn't working. He walks over and goes, "well, it would help if you plug it in." I plugged the toaster in instead and everytime I checked the plug I was checking the toaster. Woohoo - go ME! What an idiot I am. Ahhhh Monday's.

Ok - that's the update. I have to work. It's a holiday week - yay!

6 months till Christmas?!

2008-06-16T11:44:00.003-04:00

I mean really people - where is this year going?! There's less than 6 months of shopping left until Christmas. How fantastically crazy (but true) is that statement. I just want to hit the pause button right now and soak up all that has happened so far. For me, everything has happened so fast that I really haven't had the chance to stop and reflect on it all. And when I do have those rare moments to sit back and take it all in it's overwhelming. It's either all or nothing since I don't have days (or even hours) to reflect on anything.

I saw something pretty incredible yesterday at my local Starbucks. First of all, I love my Starbucks. It works like a well oiled machine. I never wait more than 3 minutes for my coffee no matter how busy it is (and believe me - it gets super busy). Second, they make the best coffee. I've been to dozens of Starbucks and this one makes every cup perfect. It's never to sweet or never not sweet enough. Third, and this is what I saw yesterday, the management. I know just about everyone that works there now and there's this woman who is ALWAYS cleaning and running around. I figured she was the manager but never really asked. Yesterday I see her mopping the floor and scrubbing the bathroom. I stopped and made small talk then asked her if she was the manager (which, like I guessed, she was). I mean, my jaw must have dropped to the floor. I couldn't praise her enough for doing the dirty work. She said to me, "I would never ask my employee's to do something I wouldn't do myself." How awesome is that! There are not a lot of people in the working world left who truly walk the walk and don't just talk the talk. She rocks my socks!

Speaking of the weekend... this one was the first drama free weekend since Memorial Day. Friday night, Sarah and I layed low and had a drink at the local bar. Saturday - my lovely girls (Karina, Nicole, and Liz) came over and I made breakfast. I love getting together with them on Saturday's because it's just a nice time to catch up with each other. Afterwards, Liz & Nicole spent an hour and a half down in Nirvana (Melissa met them there). They had personal shoppers picking out lots of clothes for them. It was so much fun to watch. Kind of like that scene in Sex & the City where Carrie is putting on a fashion show for her friends. Good times. It was so miserable out that afterwards I really didn't want to do anything. It was a catch 22 because I didn't want to stay in but I also didn't want to be outside. I layed on the couch for about 2 hours when I finally decided to go to the batting cages. My softball season starts June 30th so I thought it would be a good idea to get some swings in. I'm getting old because I have sore muscles that I didn't even realize belonged to me. Saturday night I had my choice of either continuing my laziness on the couch, going into the city with Liz and the girls, or going to see Tommy play. After a long debate with myself (and realizing it was pouring outside) I decided to stay in... well... until Sarah called and convinced me to go to the Colorado Cafe. It was kind of lame though since it's the summer. Normally that place is packed out but it wasn't. We ended up hangin' in the band room most of the night instead of dancing. Yesterday, I took Sarah to LaGuardia Airport (in New York) because she's visiting a friend in Minnesota. What normally should take 40 minutes turned into a 2 hour nightmare. Thank goodness I took some detours too which I normally wouldn't have otherwise it would have taken 4 hours and she would have missed her flight. I have no idea what was going on on the Cross Bronx yesterday but there were 2 hour delay's from some of the George Washington Bridge approaches. I took the one that only took an hour and 15 minutes- thank goodness. And, what the hellllzzz is the deal that it cost me $18 to get to the airport. That's only 2 bridges! $8 for the GWB and $10 for the Triborough. Man - as if gas prices aren't bad enough! When I finally got back into NJ I had dinner with my family for father's day, played Wii (I love the Wii), and then went home and watched Army Wives before going to bed. All and all not much of an exciting weekend.

Today - I gots a HOT DATE with Chrissy. A little bit of food, SATC since she hasn't seen it, then a sleepover at her apartment. Good times ahead!!!

Is this week over yet??

Politics - bring it on!

2008-06-12T11:57:00.002-04:00

I've refrained from politics a lot in my blogs over the last year or so. But, I couldn't help post this article. Yes, it's by Ann Coulter. I'm a fan and I don't care what anyone says. Yes, she is radical but I think this article speaks right to the point with very little sass. The comparison of the troop deaths in Iraq today to the deaths in Chicago really struck me. It's incredible how quickly we forget where it all started...

BUSH'S AMERICA: 100 PERCENT AL-QAIDA FREE SINCE 2001June 11, 2008In a conversation recently, I mentioned as an aside what a great president George Bush has been and my friend was surprised. I was surprised that he was surprised. I generally don't write columns about the manifestly obvious, but, yes, the man responsible for keeping Americans safe from another terrorist attack on American soil for nearly seven years now will go down in history as one of America's greatest presidents. Produce one person who believed, on Sept. 12, 2001, that there would not be another attack for seven years, and I'll consider downgrading Bush from "Great" to "Really Good." Merely taking out Saddam Hussein and his winsome sons Uday and Qusay (Hussein family slogan: "We're the Rape Room People!") constitutes a greater humanitarian accomplishment than anything Bill Clinton ever did -- and I'm including remembering Monica's name on the sixth sexual encounter. But unlike liberals, who are so anxious to send American troops to Rwanda or Darfur, Republicans oppose deploying U.S. troops for purely humanitarian purposes. We invaded Iraq to protect America. It is unquestionable that Bush has made this country safe by keeping Islamic lunatics pinned down fighting our troops in Iraq. In the past few years, our brave troops have killed more than 20,000 al-Qaida and other Islamic militants in Iraq alone. That's 20,000 terrorists who will never board a plane headed for JFK -- or a landmark building, for that matter. We are, in fact, fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them at, say, the corner of 72nd and Columbus in Manhattan -- the mere mention of which never fails to enrage liberals, which is why you should say it as often as possible. The Iraq war has been a stunning success. The Iraqi army is "standing up" (as they say), fat Muqtada al-Sadr --the Dr. Phil of Islamofascist radicalism -- has waddled off in retreat to Iran, and Sadr City and Basra are no longer war zones. Our servicemen must be baffled by the constant nay-saying coming from their own country. The Iraqis have a democracy -- a miracle on the order of flush toilets in that godforsaken region of the world. Despite its newness, Iraq's democracy appears to be no more dysfunctional than one that would condemn a man who has kept the nation safe for seven years while deifying a man who has accomplished absolutely nothing in his entire life except to give speeches about "change." (Guess what Bill Clinton's campaign theme was in 1992? You are wrong if you guessed: "bringing dignity back to the White House." It was "change." In January 1992, James Carville told Steve Daley of The Chicago Tribune that it had gotten to the point that the press was complaining about Clinton's "constant talk of change.") Monthly casualties in Iraq now come in slightly lower than a weekend with Anna Nicole Smith. According to a CNN report last week, for the entire month of May, there were only 19 troop deaths in Iraq. (Last year, five people on average were shot every day in Chicago.) With Iraqi deaths at an all-time low, Iraq is safer than Detroit -- although the Middle Eastern food is still better in Detroit. Al-Qaida is virtually destroyed, surprising even the CIA. Two weeks ago, The Washington Post reported: "Less than a year after his agency warned of new threats from a resurgent al-Qaida, CIA Director Michael V. Hayden now portrays the terrorist movement as essentially defeated in Iraq and Saudi Arabia and on the defensive throughout much of the rest of the world, including in its presumed haven along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border." It's almost as if there's been some sort of "surge" going on, as strange as that sounds. Just this week, The New York Times reported that al-Qaida and other terrorist groups in Southeast Asia have all but disappeared, starved of money and support. The U.S. and Australia have been working closely with the Philippines, Malaysia and Indonesia, sending them counterterrorism equipment and personnel. But no one notices when 9/11 doesn't happen. Indeed, if we had somehow stopped the 9/11 attack, we'd all be watching Mohammed Atta being interviewed on MSNBC, explaining his lawsuit against the Bush administration. Maureen Dowd would be writing columns describing Khalid Sheik Mohammed as a "wannabe" terrorist being treated like Genghis Khan by an excitable Bush administration. We begin to forget what it was like to turn on the TV, see a tornado, a car chase or another Pamela Anderson marriage and think: Good -- another day without a terrorist attack. But liberals have only blind hatred for Bush -- and for those brute American interrogators who do not supply extra helpings of béarnaise sauce to the little darlings at Guantanamo with sufficient alacrity. The sheer repetition of lies about Bush is wearing people down. There is not a liberal in this country worthy of kissing Bush's rear end, but the weakest members of the herd run from Bush. Compared to the lickspittles denying and attacking him, Bush is a moral giant -- if that's not damning with faint praise. John McCain should be so lucky as to be running for Bush's third term. Then he might have a chance.

I know, I know...

2008-06-06T11:15:00.002-04:00

I'm so behind on my posts. Honestly, it took me forever to get rid of my cold and then I dealt with a whole lot of drama so my blog has felt the repercussions.

Here's a list to rundown where i've been, where i'm at, and where i'm going

1. I can't handle an Obama/Clinton superticket. I've been praying with all my might against it
2. Memorial Day Weekend was terrible and everything spiraled out of control from that point until yesterday when it finally culminated. It was a good outcome after all the drama but it was drama nonetheless
3. SATC was FANTASTIC and i'm making a repeat attendance this weekend
4. I've been going to The Manor on Friday nights - it's a hip-hop club in the city. Awesome times!
5. Going to Sleezeside tonight (Seaside) for some R&R. It's going to be a hot, sunny weekend so why not enjoy it at the beach.
6. I've been enjoying a daily dose of a Starbucks classic - Iced, Skim Mocha
7. I love country line dancing - I do. The Colorado Cafe is my favorite Saturday night hotspot
8. I could eat a salad every day from 16 (my hangout in Westfield). Field Greens, tomato's, mozzarella, pignoli nuts, cucumbers, and chicken (i make them leave off the onions and olives). It's totally the nuts that make the entire salad and the homemade basalmic vinagrette.
9. My Ipod needs a June mix - anyone have any song suggestions?
10. Jersey summer has arrived - hot & humid

Alright that's a brief rundown. Not many details in there. I will say that life is crazy. Enjoy the weekend!!!

Is it Friday yet??

2008-05-21T10:18:00.002-04:00

I wish I could say the reason why I haven't blogged in a few days is because I've been busy with some exciting things. Alas, not so much. I've actually been sick with a throat and sinus infection. It started Saturday night and by Sunday evening my throat felt like it had hot razors in it. When I went to the doctor on Monday not only was my throat still a disaster but I was incredibly congested. Not to mention I hadn't slept in a few days since the pain would keep me up at night. Thank god for antibiotics, decongestants, and acetametaphin. I think i'm finally on the road to recovery though because today is the first time i've been able to taste things in a few days.

I have zero plans for Memorial Day weekend. It's Fleet Week in NYC though so I might have to venture in to check out the scene.

So much to do today so the post will remain small. I promise a big one soon.

Weekend Madness

2008-05-16T11:12:00.002-04:00

The last 24 hours have been absolutely emotionally draining. Sometimes the reality of who you are smacks you dead in the face. When you work so hard to change unhealthy habits and they rear their ugly head again - it's a tough thing to swallow. There have been certain situations in my life where friends have needed my unconditional support and all I could offer them was frustration, an "I know what's best" attitude, and judgement. Stare down into the face of that and you tell me how you would feel about yourself. But then, breakthrough. I haven't seen God's hand in a lot of things lately (mostly because of my own unwillingness to see even though i'm sure he's there) but he showed up last night. Instead of being able to talk my way out of this particular situation he gave me the opportunity to SHOW how I could be different. Instant gratification. Fresh off of beating myself up I was given a chance to rise to the challenge and I love challenges. I want to be the better person, the better friend when these particular situations arise. Those awful qualities actual come from a place of me trying to be protective and loving. I just need to channel that in a different way.

Busy weekend. Tomorrow I have a wedding shower and Sunday I have to meet with my father's lawyers regarding his lawsuit for my stepmother. Craziness. What I really need to do is sleep for a few days straight and not get out of bed.

27 has finally arrived...

2008-05-13T10:41:00.015-04:00

Lots to update you on. I intended to do it yesterday but I never got a chance so i'm a day late and a dollar short. Overall I would say I had a great birthday. There were moments where I was an emotional wreck but I think those feelings are allowed based on the year that I've had.

The birthday celebration started Thursday night. Our company gives us off on our birthday's but because mine fell on a Saturday I got Friday off this year. Thursday night was such a relaxing night and it was definitely needed. Warm spring air, some wine, my best friend, her dog, and an amazing heart to heart conversation. Moments like those are my absolute favorite. It's as if the outside world seems to stop for just a few short hours and life is as it should be. I need more those moments that's for sure. Can I just tell you how awesome Sarah's dog is for a second. She is the SWEETEST, MOST GENTLE dog ever. You can smoosh her face, throw her around, squeeze her like Elmyra and she just takes it. Not only that but she sleeps ALL the time and will even sleep later than you in the morning, is completely house trained, and hardly ever barks. So meet C.C. (short for Coco Chanel)...

I mean seriously, you just can't help but LOVE this dog!

Friday was a wet, cold, and dreary day. But, Nicole & I ventured into the City anyway and went to the Museum of Modern Art. We stood in the pouring rain, on a line that was half a block long (a NYC block) just to get in. Good thing it moved pretty fast. I was worried about Nic's umbrella actually starting to work at some point (lol). Moving on... I'm almost ashamed to say this but as an avid art fan the only NYC art museum I have ever been to is the Metropolitan Museum of Art. So Friday was my first time at the MoMA and I LOVED it! Standing in front of Van Gogh's Starry Night was such a surreal experience. Being in a room filled with Picasso's, Kandinsky's, Monet's, and Rothka's was amazing, humbling, and moving. Those artists never desired to be famous. They painted as a way to express their life, their emotions, their struggles. It was an outlet for everything that was built up inside them. That's what makes those pieces so real, so raw. That's why art trancends all generations. Enjoy some of my favorite pieces...

This piece is just... there are no words. Van Gogh's "Starry Night" is classic

And those are just some of the amazing art pieces there. There were definitely moments where i teared up. Mostly because I love art, I love the City, I love doing things with the ones I love and part of me has lost that over the last few years. I've lost part of who I am and being at the MoMA on Friday helped stir up those feelings that I thought were long gone. I'm slowly rediscovering myself and it's scary and exciting all at the same time.

We left the museum hoping to catch the 3:06pm train back to Westfield but we missed it by 10 minutes. We caught the next train at 4:13pm and then met Sarah and Liz for Happy Hour at the Jolly. Good times with those girls! Then it was date night with my husband. He had music things to do on my birthday so we went out Friday night instead. He had callilies waiting in the car for me. They were gorgeous. Then we went to Monster Sushi for dinner where I got my asaparagus rolled in teriyaki chicken (A-MAZING). When I was ordering though I thought the waiter had said, "ok, thank you Nicole" and Tommy and I both did a double take like, "did he just say my name? how the heck does he know my name? nah, he didn't say my name - he barely spoke english so he probably said something else." Well, he did say my name because later on they sang Happy Birthday to me. My sister had called the restaurant to make sure they embarassed me properly. Love her. Afterwards we went to the coolest place. It was this indoor, glow in the dark mini-golf arcade called Monster Golf. Decked out like Halloween. CRAZY FUN! Probably the hardest mini-gold i've ever played. But, of course, I won. Yes, i'm gloating. Here are some pictures...

Once I claimed the victory I met up with Sarah at 16 where the girls (the bartender's who are now our friends) got me a card and this beautiful bouquet of flowers. So super sweet. Love them!

Saturday morning (my actual birthday) I met up with Chrissy, Adie, Lane, Joanna, and Karina for breakfast. So yummy!!! Chrissy and I then went shopping for an outfit for that night. I was told by Sarah that I needed to dress like a biker chick so I purchased some ripped jeans (which by the way fit SO PERFECT), a black skull and cross bone tank top, and a short black hoodie. Then I picked up some makeup to complete the ensemble. I actually LOVED the outfit. It was so comfortable. That night I went over Sarah's and she started the night by cooking one of my favorite dishes - Penne Vodka.

That sauce looks gross but it was AWESOME! Prosciutto, mushrooms, and peas in a pink cream sauce.

After dinner we started the night at this club called The Den where they were having a drag queen runway show. Hilarious! So fun!

After about a half-hour the show got boring so we ended the night at this bar in New Brunswick called the Knighclub. Not much dancing but definitely a lot of fun. We followed it up with some late night disco fries at a local diner and then I stayed over Sarah's because we didn't get home until 4. Even though I live 2 minutes away Sarah has a driveway and I was not about to get up at 9am to move my car from behind my building.

I spent Sunday morning cleaning my apartment and then went to my parents where we had a mothers day/birthday dinner for me and my mom. For those that don't know my mom is a pack rat. They are in the process of remodeling the house and buying a new shed for the backyard. My mom has crates, crates, and more crates filled with useless crap. I now belong to a white trash family. Take a look at the backyard. That's not even a quarter of what my mom has collected.

Once dinner was over I went home and Sarah came over with the dog and we vegged on the couch.

Monday morning I got up early because my dentist appointment from last week was rescheduled for 8am. I couldn't make it up the parkway in time because of the rain and flooding yesterday so the extra hour I could have slept was wasted. I needed it to because I barely slept all weekend. When I was done with work I went home and passed out for 45 minutes. It was necessary. Liz and Sarah both came over when I woke up and we watched some tv. After Liz left Sarah and I watched "27 Dresses". We both had seen it already but we LOVE that movie so I purchased it last week when it came out. Please see it if you haven't. I laughed, I cried - it was perfect.

I still haven't slept though. My insomnia is back. Hate it. I'm going to get an Iced Mocha from Starbucks in a bit. Bringing back a classic. I'm really hoping to hit the gym tonight. It's been too long (just like this post).

Yes, they are from Mars

2008-05-06T15:21:00.002-04:00

I went to a Cinco de Mayo celebration at a Chevy's on Staten Island last night. I was doing my good deed for the day. It was way too crowded, too much money, and the people - oh the people. If you aren't from the New Jersey/New York Tri-State area you really can't understand what people are like from here. They are their own breed. And yes, I did grow up here, but no I am not like them. The big hair, the fashion nightmares (clothes that are 10 sizes too small), the gold chains, the nails and makeup, and the list goes on. You can get an idea at www.njguido.com but really you have to see it with your own eyes. And my own eyes were hurtin' last night. I'm still amazed sometimes even though I've grown up with it. Anyway, we met one of Sarah's friends in the restaurant and hung out for a bit and then left early. We didn't want to pay $20 just to stand outside and drink. Not kidding.

So, we were back in Jersey by 10:15pm and went to a local dive bar to hang out and talk. For those of you who are wondering - I didn't drink. I'm noticing on my blogs that I talk a lot about bars and drinking but honestly it's not as much as it sounds. But, being that it was Cinco de Mayo I am now the proud owner of a Corona Visor which will come in handy during softball season.

I'm wondering if I still have any readers out there. If you are there and read my blog leave me some love. Enjoy the gorgeous day!

Happy Cinco de Mayo

2008-05-05T09:15:00.005-04:00

Welcome back to the work week everyone. As we all know I hate Monday's. But today I got up especially early because I had a dentist appointment scheduled at 8am in Clifton (which is about 20 min. north from where I live). Why I scheduled it on a Monday morning I will never no. Anyway... i'm up, i'm dressed, i'm clean and I was just about to leave my apartment at 7:30 when my cell phone rings. "Hi Nikki, it's Dottie from Dr. Resnick's office. Dr. Resnick is ill today and won't be in so we have to reschedule all of our appointments. Sorry for the inconvenience." Now, as excited as I was to not have to go to the dentist this morning and that she caught me before I made my way up to the office I was so mad because I could have slept an extra 45 minutes. It's important to soak up every minute of sleep when Monday roll's around. So instead I decided to make good use of my time by putting on makeup before I got to the office and head to work early. Both of which I would never do today.

Let's back up to Thursday night because that's where my weekend fun begins. Sarah & I really needed to do some laundry so we thought it would be fun if we went to the laundromat and did it together. Now there's 3 in town but trying to find one open late in my area is a joke. I'm so used to laundromat's being open till 11pm/12am from where I used to live. But, we find one that's open till 9:30pm - ok great, we'll get it done. Now this particular laundromat is in a stripmall and right next door is a Liquor store. So, I glance in because I was going to scope out the wine collection and I see a bar inside the store. I mean, when I say ghetto I mean GHETTO bar. An old man, alocholic person type of hangout. But, we're thinking JACKPOT. Do laundry, have a drink, chill out - perfect place while you wait. Which was exactly what happened. We got to know the bartender (total cutie - older guy but definitely good looking), watched some sports, and had a drink while our laundry was in the machines. It couldn't have been more random or more perfect. I wish you all could see this place - words cannot describe it. It's too be seen with your own eyes to understand how awesome it is. Later that night we went to the Jolly because Thursday nights are karaoke night. Good times as always. We never sing we just like to people watch and listen to how bad everyone is. Although, I will sing if i've either had too much to drink or if someone sings with me. You'll never catch me doing a solo act otherwise.

Friday night I had a movie date with Chrissy. So much fun. We haven't had one of those in FOREVER! I left work and met her at 5:30 at Clifton Commons and we saw, "Made of Honor" with Patrick Dempsey and Michelle Monaghan. Patrick doesn't know it YET but he's going to marry me someday. He is soooo HOT - I seriously can't help myself. If I was 16 I would find every magazine picture of him and stick him all over my walls. Anyway, back to the movie. It was awesome. Of course it's your typical love story. I would say along the lines of "My Best Friend's Wedding" only better. You actually felt the characters emotions and struggles throughout the movie. You were with them all the way. You laughed, you cried, you cheered at the end. It was very fulfilling. I left a satisfied viewer and would see it again. Afterwards I helped Sarah move in this gorgeous entertainment center into her new apartment and then just chilled.

Saturday I got my hair done - color and cut. It's this dark cherry red... HOT! I stuck with one color this time mainly because I can't really afford to do crazy highlights right now. As far as the cut... my hair has gotten pretty long but I wanted to keep some of the length. So Alicia cut off about 2 1/2 inches and gave me some long layers. I didn't realize how long my hair had actually gotten because even with taking that amount of hair off it's still long. It needed it though. Afterwards I got the nails and toes done - hot pink! A full day of pampering myself. It was needed. I spent the rest of the night on the couch watching tv. I ended up falling alseep at 11pm which was actually good because I needed the sleep.

Sunday I was up bright and early at 7am. Mostly because I fell asleep at 11pm the night before but also because I was going on a bus trip to Atlantic City. It was my parents, my sister and her boyfriend, and me and Sarah along with the parents of my brothers boy scout unit. It was a fundraiser for their troop. We got to the Trump Plaza around 11am, played some slots, then me, my sister, and Sarah decided to walk the boardwalk. As we're walking my sister goes, "I want to go look at some tattoo's." We walk down to Kentucky Ave. on the boardwalk and found Lucky Lou's Tattoo's. Sarah & I had been talking for awhile about getting tattoo's. I wanted Robin's initials underneath the tattoo that I already have and I also want one on my ankle that extends down to my foot. Sarah wanted one on the back of her neck and so did my sister. Well, we all found something we liked and before we made any rash decisions we sat at the Irish Pub to mull it over. All of a sudden Sarah goes, "I'm getting it done" and we all followed suit. Honestly, you couldn't beat the price. It was a $40 shop minimum. Most shop minimums up here are $80. All of our tattoo's cost $40 a piece because they were small and not all that detailed. Sarah got the chinese symbol for change on her neck, my sister got her first initial (the letter A) with a star on her neck, and I got Robin's initial's underneath my tattoo on my arm. Here are two pictures of what it looks like

The first picture is from yesterday about 2 hours after it was done and the second picture is from today. I love it. I love all of our tattoo's.

Today is Cinco de Mayo. I would say 98% of Ameican's have no idea what it actually means - just that it's a day to drink at your local Chevy's. I actually heard one guy give an explanation yesterday that was completely wrong. So, for all of those interested in knowing what Cinco de Mayo really is here is an excerpt from wikipedia...

"Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for "5th of May") is primarily a regional and not an obligatory federal holiday in Mexico. The holiday commemorates an initial victory of Mexican forces led by General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín over French forces in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. The date is observed in the United States and other locations around the world as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride. A common misconception in the United States is that Cinco de Mayo is Mexico's Independence Day; Mexico's Independence Day is actually September 16, which is the most important national patriotic holiday in Mexico."

Concerts, Courts, and the News?

2008-05-01T15:16:00.003-04:00

Alright alright, it's time to talk about the Hanson concert. I came, I saw, I conquered. I refuse to give into Christin's insistence that they are better than sliced bread but I will say this... they are fun. I have been to worse concerts. But still, it was Hanson, and I would have much rather been somewhere else. Especially when Mmm Bop came on - acoustic version. I almost did a Van Gogh to my ears. I think the best part of the entire concert was the average age of the girls there. There weren't many younger than 21 I'll say that. These boys have a cult following that's for sure. I do have pictures that I'll post later. I can't seem to get them uploaded properly.

I had the afternoon off yesterday to finally settle my traffic ticket in Scotch Plains. 5 1/2 hours and 1 evacuation later I had to pay $433 so I wouldn't get points on my license. The municipal court system absolutely needs an overhaul. There was no need for me or anyone else to be there that long. Between the lines and the judge and the order of the cases it was a nightmare. No sort of structure. The line you checked in with the court clerk was the same line you waited in to pay your ticket. So when people arrived for the 4pm court if you were there trying to pay your fine from the 12pm court you had to wait on the same line as those checking in. And, the fire alarm and evacuation took a good hour from the day. I was exhausted and broke by the time it was all over. I couldn't wait to get out of Scotch Plains.

Since my friends have taken the liberty of creating a Spring playlist I thought I'd go ahead and make one myself. It's a little bit long but it needed to be varied. Here goes:

1. Cadence (Acoustic) - Anberlin
2. I want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles
3. Good - Better than Ezra
4. Caroline - Brian Fitzpatrick
5. I Ain't In Checotah Anymore - Carrie Underwood
6. Killa - Cherish
7. Free and Easy (Down the Road I Go) - Dierks Bentley
8. Big Me - Foo Fighters
9. I Won't Dance - Frank Sinatra
10. Waiting for the World to Fall - Jars of Clay
11. What If I Loved You - Joey Gian
12. Waiting On the World to Change - John Mayer
13. Have a Little Faith In Me - John Hiatt
14. When You Say You Love Me - Josh Groban
15. No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem - Kenny Chesney
16. Broken - Jump Little Children
17. Falling Down - Lynden
18. Two Ways to Say Goodbye - Pat Monahan
19. Wave on Wave - Pat Green
20. Grace - Phil Wickham
21. The Candy Man - Sammy Davis, Jr.
22. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
23. Our Song - Taylor Swift
24. World Spins Madly On - The Weepies
25. Saving Grace - Steve Jones
26. Leave the Pieces - The Wreckers
27. Beverly Hills - Weezer

So there ya go! Hope you enjoy the list!

I was coming out of Stop & Shop today during lunch and there was a camera crew there just hanging out. This woman comes over to me and asks if she can ask me a few questions. She says she's from Channel 7 and is interviewing people about the rising costs in supermarkets. I kindly tell her that I don't shop that often to notice but she insists on asking me a few questions. Mind you - this is NOT my best looking day. Of all the days I decided to not care what I look like today is the day. I made up some answers because I really have not noticed prices going up. Look for me, my sunglasses, and my fuzzy NorthFace jacket tonight on World News Tonight with Charles Gibson at 6:30pm (est). I really think they'll keep my segment!!! I'm GLOBAL people!!!

Against my Will

2008-04-29T12:41:00.002-04:00

Tonight I will be seeing these boys at Starland Ballroom

Oh yes - that's Hanson. Please don't think any less of me for this. I can't stand them. I love my friend who loves Hanson so that's why I'm going (under much protest however). I might slit my wrists when they play Mmm Bop. Either that or do a Van Gogh to my ear.

I really do enjoy my new counselor but last night made me question her judgement of me and my situation. Tommy & I were invited to a "Love & Respect" small group from her church at a house in Fanwood (which is about 5 min from where I live). I'm a little over the whole "Girls see and hear in pink and boys see and hear in blue." It's great with arguments and I agree with a lot of the concepts but practically speaking other factors play into relational problems besides colors. Ontop of that, everyone I was surrounded by (including my counselor) were UBER Christians. It's been a very long time since i've been to church and even longer since i've been a part of a small group. God & I just aren't seeing eye to eye right now. It's a struggle for me and i'm working on it but I was definitely not ready for last night. I don't think overwhelming quite cuts it. I couldn't wait to run out the door when it was all over. My counselor and I really need to talk about this. I've expressed to her where I'm at with my faith and she understands the depth of problems Tommy & I face but last night made me feel like we aren't being taken seriously. That a "Love & Respect" small group is the answer to fix my faith and my marriage. At this point I don't know what will fix any of that but I do know a small group is not the answer.

I was able to decompress later on that night by helping Sarah and her mom hang curtains and put together some furniture at her new place. There's just such a comforting spirit that surrounds them both.

I'm pretty fried. Dare I say Hanson might do me some good because I'll get to laugh.

Rainy Monday

2008-04-28T11:49:00.004-04:00

Under the advice of some friends I decided to take down my last post. Most of you read the story so you are all caught up. If you haven't, just ask me and I will share my dramatic moments of last week with you.

As if Monday's aren't difficult enough - today is extra special because it's cold and rainy outside. It was almost physically painful getting out of bed. I could have slept all day under my nice, warm covers. But no, here I am, back to the daily grind of work.

This weekend was nice. Friday night I made some island cocktails and Sarah and I hung out at her new apartment (which is FABULOUS!). Saturday I had breakfast with Liz and then went to Newark with Sarah's mom to see where Sarah's stepsister will be having her wedding reception. The place is gorgeous of course and I'm definitely looking forward to going. Then I ran to Somerville to pick up some things and rounded out my afternoon with a nice long nap. When I finally woke up I went over Liz & Nicole's for their clothing swap party. It's interesting how my life has changed. There were friends from a couple of different circles that I used to run in and it was a little overwhelming because my life isn't like that anymore. For better or worse times have changed and it's hard to go back there with all of those memories of what life used to be like. Not that I don't like my life now but it was just different with less problems and less worries. So, I stayed for an hour and then Sarah & I went to the Colorado Cafe. Always good times on a Saturday night. Country Line Dancing at it's finest! Yesterday was Westfield's Festival. Twice a year (Spring & Fall) they close off the streets in downtown Westfield and they have this outdoor flea market/carnival. So much fun! I didn't really walk around yesterday. I just went down for some food and went back upstairs. The food though - YUM!! Carnival food is always amazing. I had an Italian hotdog, fried oreo's, and a crepe stuffed with chocolate, strawberries, and banana's. The crepe was to DIE for!!! I then napped for about an hour or so due to the food coma I was in and then finished the night catching up on some shows I DVR'd.

Speaking of shows - the two shows I got caught up on were ANTM & Top Chef. Needless to say I was NOT sad to see Lauren go. For crying out loud that girl should have been gone weeks ago!! The best part of the show though was when Miz J busted out laughing at Dominique's commercial. I laughed so hard! She needs to be the next one gone... she's so FUGLY! I was a little disappointed to see Jen go on Top Chef but if she said "I'm doing this for Zoe" one more time I was going to spork her eye out. So annoying!

Life is funny sometimes... my life especially. There is never a dull moment.

Growing old gracefully?

2008-04-18T11:36:00.002-04:00

I caught up with an old college friend this morning. I have to be honest and say that he was an old flame but the timing was just never right. I had the pleasure of looking at some recent photo's of him and i'm very glad I did. Whatever feelings I might have carried for him are now completely gone. The guy has not grown old gracefully. Poor dude! Back in college he was one fine looking specimen but now... ooof - not so much. Still a nice guy though at least he's got that going for him.

Now that i've completely trashed a poor innocent soul (lol) let's move on...

Karaoke last night - fabulous! I love karaoke. Not so much singing but watching other people sing really bad. Karaoke brings out all sorts of creatures and it's so much fun to watch. Although, I do hate the ones who do the karaoke circuit. You know the ones that sing really well and go from place to place singing the same song. It's probably the only attention they can get. Karaoke is no fun unless you are drunk and singing Bon Jovi really loud and way off pitch.

Tonight I have a Tricky Tray. It'll be fun. Maybe i'll win something although odd's are I won't. I never win at these things. Tomorrow will be a fun-filled day of laundry followed by some packing and cleaning for Sarah's new apartment because Sunday is the big move. That's about my weekend in a nutshell. At some point tomorrow though I need to get some new pants. I have lost 10lbs (finally... it only took me 3 months) and none of them fit me. I need work pants and jeans. I should look online and see what kind of sales are going on.

TGIF!!!

Traffic Court

2008-04-17T10:05:00.002-04:00

The last 72 hours have been confusing, draining, and life altering. The reality of where I'm at has just about hit me full-force. I say 'just about' because the next few weeks will probably be even more challenging. At some point I'm sure I will come face to face with the true mess and brokenness of my life. Not that i'm not aware of it but I know there's so much more bottoming out to do before I can begin the real healing process.

On another note let's talk about my day yesterday. About a month ago I had gotten 5 tickets within a 7-day span. 3 of the 5 happened in Scotch Plains and all at the same time. I got pulled over for careless driving (it was a two-lane merge and I passed a car on the left to get ahead of him and I got pulled over for it), my taillight was out, and I also had an expired insurance card on me (which was only expired 3 days - i had just forgotten to put the new one in). So 3 tickets. Careless driving in NJ is 2 points and I have a clean driving record. If I went to court they would take off the points and just give me a bigger fine. Yesterday was my court date - 12 noon. I get online to check in and it's a LONG line. I end up getting stuck behind this woman from New York who won't SHUT UP. She's telling me all about her life, cops in New York, how I need to fight my ticket, etc. On, and on, and on for almost a half-hour before we got into the courtroom. We get in the courtroom and I sit there for 2 1/2 hours watching some of the dumbest people go in front of the judge. It really is a simple process and it's amazing how many people can't figure it out. Finally they call my name. Now, in my old town and the towns around me if you fought a ticket it was taken care of the same day you went to court. Well, I found out that after 2 1/2 hours Scotch Plains doesn't work like that. I had to plead not guilty to the careless driving and I have to go back NEXT WEEK to talk to the prosecutor to have the points dropped which means another 2 hours in the courtroom. And let me tell you how many traffic violations there were. Scotch Plains police have nothing better to do because there crime rate is so low. There was actually a woman who had a ticket for a loud muffler. Honestly - that's just crazy!

Have I mentioned how much I miss St. John?! In case I haven't it's almost like a bad case of homesickness.

I think I might have a stomach bug. The stomach's not feeling so hot today. Oh well - I'll survive. At least the weather is GORGEOUS. It's supposed to be warm and sunny the next 3 days so i'm pretty excited!

Ok, i'm back...

2008-04-11T14:53:00.005-04:00

My posts might still be sporadic but I'll try to update more often. I've spent most of the last month in a downward spiral. I find myself out of sorts with who I am and who I want to be. The inner conflict has become a daily battle. I'm exhausted most days because I'm fighting for and against myself. I know that may be confusing but I understand it. I want to do things MY way because i'm just so fed up with everything. As much as I know better, every part of me wants to run from God and run from this mess I'm in. I went on vacation last week and had the best time of my life. I was with friends on a tropical island far away from all of my problems. I know it wasn't reality but for a brief moment I was happy and at peace. I can't tell you how hard I cried when we had to leave. I knew I was coming home to the same stress and the same problems - they've been the same one's for over a year now. I just want it all to go away. I want a different life. I'll keep some elements of it but overall I need change. I think Kenny Chesney has the best line right now, "Wouldn't take much for me to up and run to another life somewhere in the sun."

Speaking of... let me post some pictures of my recent vacation to St. John/St. Thomas

I literally have over 300 pictures. If you want to see them just let me know and I'll send the snapfish link. How I wish I was back there....

Care for an update?!

2008-03-03T11:36:00.001-05:00

I've laid the blog aside for some fun on Facebook. If you have one come find me...

Nikki Hayes

nhayes05@gmail.com

See ya there!

Emergency Breakthrough

2008-01-25T09:20:00.000-05:00

Remember when there were no cell phones, no beepers, and call waiting was a luxury. You used to have to use emergency breakthrough's to get through to your friends or parents. Crazy! Anyway, this is an ER Breakthrough blog. I'm coming back from hiatus to share with you all that after 6 months & 24 days I finally got my period. Yes, I know, I may be sharing TMI but this is a big deal for me. Of course, it couldn't come at the worst time. I've got a crazy couple of days ahead but such is life I suppose. So, who's excited for me... yea didn't think so. Exciting and period should never be used in the same sentence.

Ok, back to hiatus status. I'm still reading all of your blogs so no worries! If you want to chat just shoot me an email...

nhayes05@gmail.com

Till my comeback tour... take care!

Taking a Break

2008-01-22T10:48:00.001-05:00

I'm taking a break from blogging for awhile. I do apologize to my fans but it's something I feel I need to do. Who knows, maybe i'll change my mind in a few days but right now i'm going on hiatus.

Take care!

Anyone out there today??

2008-01-21T09:42:00.000-05:00

Anyone out in blogland today? Or, am I the only poor shmuck working on a holiday. Probably the latter. There is no point to being in this office today. Both my bosses aren't here, 2 of our co-workers are out, which leaves a total of 4 people actually present and accounted for. Ugh - SLOOOWWWWW day. As if i'm not bored enough on a regular basis today is going to be especially bad.

Movie review time....

27 Dresses

FABULOUS! I loved it!!!! It was hilarious and those dresses - OMG! At one point in the movie she puts them all on and I don't think i've laughed so hard in a very long time. And, I love Judy Greer. She always has a supporting part (usually as the friend with a 'tude) but they are always great roles for her. She does them so well! Go see it!!! MUST!!!

Other than that - didn't really do a heck of a lot this weekend. Lot's of talking - the good, deep kind of conversations. Shopping, eating, drinking, laughing. Just took it easy.

Oh, and i've also decided i'm NEVER eating out again. Sarah & I looked up a ton of nutrition facts over the weekend and it was unbelievable. Even someplace like Panera Bread where you think you're eating "healthy" is loaded with fat and calories, including the salads! Forget Cold Stone Creamery. The average kids portion has about 600 calories in it... KIDS PORTION. I'd rather have two cheeseburgers from McDonalds at 310 calories a piece. Insane!!!

Somebody shoot me today. There's nothing to do.

Oh yea.... GOOOOOOOOOOOO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOHOOOO ONTO THE SUPERBOWL BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What once was lost now is found

2008-01-17T14:14:00.001-05:00

They found Sarah's cell phone!

There are millions of people and cab's in New York City and finding a lost cell phone is like finding a needle in a haystack. After leaving the gym last night I checked my phone and saw that this strange number had called. I listened to the voicemail and it was this girl letting me know that she found Sarah's cell phone in a cab that she had gotten into. Ok, so not only is the phone found but someone was nice enough to try to locate the owner. How awesome is she!?! Unfortunately, it needs to be picked up in Manhattan but all the more reason to make a trip out of it.

Love stories like that!

It's freezing out today and going to be even colder this weekend.

Stay warm!

NYC is a Windtunnel in the Winter

2008-01-16T09:24:00.000-05:00

I took the day off of work yesterday with the intent of cleaning my apartment and doing laundry. I did the laundry but failed to clean the apartment. In fact, it looked worse when I brought the laundry home. And, that wasn't the only reason why I took off of work. I had a big night in the city planned so since I had to be home early anyway and our office has been DEAD I stayed home. It was perfect.

Let's start with Monday night though shall we....

Before I go off on my rant let me just say that I am an offender as well. I've been getting better but breaking the habit hasn't been easy. Cell phones at the dinner table - whether you're home or out it's unacceptable.... period. My husband is the biggest culprit of this. I feel like a mom when I lecture him and yell at him to turn his phone off. We were out last week with some friends of ours and he answered his phone right in the middle of dinner. I looked at him and said out loud so they could hear, "you are being RUDE. hang up that phone!" Then Monday night (his birthday) I took him out to dinner at this sushi restaurant called Wasabi in Somerville. Which, sidenote, I tried to be original and think of a place he had never been too. Nope, he had already been there. Oh well. Anyway, so I said in the car, "you are to turn your phone off at dinner and put it away." We haven't had a dinner date in forever so I wanted no distractions. Well, we sit down and he puts his phone on the table. So, I kindly remind him to put his phone away and after much resistance he finally does. I mean really... just ridiculous. It was bad enough when he had a Treo but now it's even worse with the iPhone. I almost regret getting it for him for Christmas. Other than that, dinner was good. The service at Wasabi was terrible but the drinks and food made up for it. Afterwards we just had a low-key night at home. Next year will be the big party for his 30th.

Now let's talk about yesterday...

During my trek to the laundrymat I fell and twisted my foot. I was able to walk on it but the part of my foot where the arch is feels bruised. I went to the gym anyway. I find that when I go by myself I don't work out nearly as hard as when Sarah comes with me. I did the eliptical (which i'm pretty certain was created by Satan) for 45 minutes yesterday. I was soaked by the time I was done but sweating like that always gives me a sense of accomplishment. Afterwards it was a mad rush to get ready to go into the city. On the agenda - NYC Ballet Romeo & Juliet at Lincoln Center and dessert at Serendipity.

We caught the 4:44pm train and made it up to Lincoln Center by 6pm. I could have SWORN there was a Houlihan's there which is where we planned on eating dinner. After walking in circles for 20 minutes around the blocks of Manhattan we settled on this pub type place right across the street from the theater. I have no idea what happened to the Houlihan's. It was there - I know it was! The ballet was AMAZING! The best interpretation of Romeo & Juliet i've ever seen. No words, just dance and it was powerful. You felt every emotion in every step. We had great seats too. 3rd ring center and on the aisle. Behind us though there were these young girls. Probably 19 or 20. Chewed gum the ENTIRE time. They were even blowing bubbles. I wanted to leap over my chair and shove the gum down there throats. I almost did during the second half. Once it was over we hopped in a cab and headed to the east side to go to Serendipity. Along the way we were goofing around in the cab and Sarah's phone must have dropped in the process because when we got to the restaurant her phone was gone. Dessert more than made up for the loss of her phone though. We split the "Can't Say No" Sundae which was Humble Pie (peanut butter with graham cracker crust), ice cream, hot fudge, banana's, and whipped cream. I mean... INSANELY good. We definitely couldn't finish the entire thing. The peanut butter was great but very rich.

We then walked up to Lexington Ave. and caught the N train back to 34th & Herald Square. Unfortunately the station was on the wrong corner because at the right spot under Herald Square you can walk all the way underground to Penn Station. Instead we again walked in the bitter cold to the station and caught the 11:30 train to Newark and then the 12:07 to Westfield. It was such a fun, adventurous, and in some ways relaxing evening.

Once we got home we stayed up way too late and had wine and watched tv. I'm on almost no sleep. I can't really complain because I did it to myself. Hahaha.

Today - well, i'm functioning at work and then going home and napping for an hour or so before heading to the gym. I'm determined to lose weight. I'm having the hardest time doing it. I'm working out more, I changed my diet, I'm increasing my metabolism and it's been nothing but heartache everytime I step on the scale. I'm hoping my new love/hate relationship with the eliptical will change all of that.

I need to look like i'm working.... peace out cub scouts

Somber Monday

2008-01-14T11:23:00.001-05:00

Hey everyone...

Please pray for my friend Tricia and her husband Maurice. Tricia is in her mid 30's and has PCOS. The doctors told her when she was 18 that she probably wasn't going to be able to have children. Well, about 5 weeks ago she found out she was pregnant. 2 weeks ago she should have been about 8 1/2 weeks along and when she went for a vaginal ultrasound the doctor said she was only 4 1/2 weeks. In my mind I knew something wasn't right but the doctors said she was fine. Then last week she spotted on Wednesday and again the doctors brushed it off and said everything was fine. She finally was getting used to the idea of being pregnant and finally having a baby. It took her awhile to adjust because she was scared something was going to happen. Well, this morning she found out that she miscarried. It's completely heartbreaking. I could barely handle listening to her cry on the phone to me. So please pray for them! This is so tragic especially because for a brief moment they finally had something they never thought they could. Something they had always wanted. I don't know how they are going to get through this right now. I know they will but right now it's just awful.

Thanks

*********************************************************************************

Today is the day that this man graced us with his earthly presence (no, not Jesus) - T Hayes

It's my wonderful husbands 29th birthday. He's getting old. Next year will be the big 3-0. So glad hit hits that mark before I do (hahaha). Wish him a happy birthday if you remember... tommy@redemptionstudios.com

"Nag, nag, nag - Wine, wine, wine"

2008-01-11T10:26:00.001-05:00

Speaking of wine - I had way too much of it last night. I should have listened to Chrissy and stopped at glass #2. By glass #4 the room was in a complete tailspin, I had a phone conversation that I don't really remember the contents of, I wrote a sappy email (that thank goodness whatever sane part of me was left never sent), and then passed out. I definitely needed the sleep I just overestimated the amount of wine needed to do so.

But, the date was a success. Chrissy and I had a good time watching Celebrity Apprentice, eating dinner, and catching up. I enjoy low-key nights like that.

Today I don't really have anything on the agenda. I was planning on getting drinks with Nicole and Liz but after last night not sure I want to do that.

Oh, but I did book my flight this morning for St. Thomas. $292 round trip. YAYAYAYAY!!!

Ugh, i'm starting to feel the repercussions of the wine. My stomach is doing some not so good flip-flops.

I'm going shopping tonight for new running sneakers. When I run my left calf muscle tightens and burns like the firey pits of HELL. Last night was no exception. I actually couldn't walk on it for a few minutes once I got off the treadmill. I was told I needed new sneakers and to learn how to run properly. So, that's what i'm going to do.

Bye for now....

Countdown

2008-01-10T12:13:00.001-05:00

I've added a vacation countdown meter to my blog. I plan on torturing myself until the day I leave by marking a wall like convicts do in their jail cell.

On the agenda the next couple of days:

Gym, gym, and gym
Dinner with Chrissy
Drinks with Liz & Nicole
Hanging with Sarah when she gets back from Vermont
Go see T Hayes play on Saturday night and see JayMar and the fiance there
Counseling
PJ day Sunday afternoon

That's what the next few days look like for me. Nothing too crazy. Next Tuesday I'm going to the NYC Ballet. Definitely looking forward to that. Romeo & Juliet at Lincoln Center.

Tired today. I've got this wicked post nasal drip going on that has been keeping me up at night. I don't have more than 4 hours of sleep in me right now.

Anticipation

2008-01-09T11:24:00.000-05:00

I'm very excited today! First of all - I slept last night. Had dinner with a friend of mine and then came home and passed out. It was much needed. I did wake up with laryngitis but other than that I feel great. But, the other reason why i'm excited is because in April I will be going here:

And here:

Those would be the islands of St. Thomas and St. John. I'm going the 4th through the 8th of April with Sarah, her brother John, his girlfriend Melissa, and their friend Jeremy. T Hayes isn't going because he just started a new job and well, honestly, I need the time to regroup and refresh by myself. This will be a bit challenging though because I'm terrified of flying. The first time I flew was two years ago and the longest flight was 2 hours. I'll be flying by myself on the 4th and it's a 4 hour flight. They're going the 2nd through the 8th but it's my 3 year anniversary on the 1st so I'm not going to go until the 3rd. Which means a solo flight to the island. But, it's time I conquer my fear. I might lose my mind but i'll be doing it while traveling to a tropical paradise. I'm not going to think this time or worry about anything (even money) - i'm just going to do it because I need to.

Talk about motivation to get through the next couple of months! It's also given me some motivation to make some more placements here at work.

On another note I have a hot date tomorrow with one Christina Marie. It's been awhile so it'll be much needed. Who knew living 20 minutes away from each other would seem like we live in different states. Dinner and Celebrity Apprentice await us!

Tonight, gym. Actually, gym is on the agenda from now until I can fit my rear end into a bathing suit for April.

Zzzzzzz's

2008-01-08T11:42:00.000-05:00

I may collapse from sleep deprivation. Definitely didn't sleep last night - I was up every hour or so staring at my clock. I have no idea why either because I was exhausted! When I rolled out of bed at 7:15am I stared into my bathroom mirror for 15 minutes debating on whether or not I should go to work. I lost the debate with myself so I'm at the office. My friend Tricia here walked by my desk a little while ago and said, "you need caffeine - it's 11:30 and you already look like your going to drop." And these people think I exaggerate when I say I struggle with insomnia.

I kicked my butt at the gym yesterday. I was so frustrated with myself because I've been eating healthier and have been working out consistently and I haven't lost 1 pound. When I stepped on the scale last night I was so angry. I almost walked out but instead I pushed myself that much harder. It's not like I have unrealistic goals either. I'm not looking to lose 10lbs in a week - just 1 or 2. I want a gradual weight loss. Ugh! So, sleep or no sleep i'll be back at the gym tonight.

This weather is giving me Spring Fever and it's not even the middle of January yet. Forgive me for saying this but I need the cold weather back. This is such a tease and it's making me want to do all the outdoor activities I do in the Spring but I can't because Spring is still a few months away. It sucks when it's 66 degrees at 4pm and it's pitch black outside.

I need SLEEP

List Making

2008-01-07T16:19:00.000-05:00

I know... two posts in one day! Don't expect this kind of goodness on a regular basis if you read my blog. One of the conversation points on Saturday night was about plans that we may have had for our lives that have long since disappeared. It's definitely made me think over my hopes and dreams that I have had over the years. Then I read my friend's brothers blog and he's currently on a cross-country road trip. Talk about an experience. In honor of that and my thoughts over the last few days I thought I'd create a small list of things I want to do at some point in my life. In no particular order here they are...

1. See the Grand Canyon
2. Visit Europe (especially Italy)
3. Learn to play the piano
4. Cross the Mississippi River
5. Go on an Alaskan Cruise
6. Take a cross-country road trip - experience the U.S.
7. Camp in the desert
8. Visit the Amazon Rain Forest
9. Travel up to Cape Cod & Martha's Vineyard
10. Walk the beaches of Santorini
11. Go back to school - get my Masters Degree
12. Be a contestant on the Amazing Race (yes, this made the list because I would love to do what they do)

Those are just on my mind right now. The list is bigger in my head and will probably continue to grow. What does your list look like?

New Week - New Look

2008-01-07T13:27:00.001-05:00

I changed up my blog a bit. It needed something different (and I was bored). This weekend was fun and busy all at the same time. I don't feeling like devling into specifics but it included drinks with friends, a 3rd cousins 16th birthday party on Long Island, good conversation till 6 in the morning, draining counseling session, dinner & a movie with a friend, and even an abbreviated appearance at church. I will say this about the birthday party - my mom's family is all from New York. Mostly Brooklyn and Long Island and they're all Irish. The way New Yorkers celebrate parties isn't in a restaurant or a hall - it's either in a backyard or like Saturday an American Legion (or something of the sort albeit a VFW or a Knights of Columbus). So you can imagine 190 people, dressed up, drinking at an American Legion. Priceless!

Lots of thoughts i'm mulling over today. This will be a short post. Some of them I'll eventually share others I feel the need to keep to myself. Till next time...

P.S. I love You

2008-01-04T09:10:00.000-05:00

After an hour and a half at the gym last night I went to see "P.S. I love You". I heard mixed reviews so I was eager to make my own - especially since i'm not much of a Hillary Swank fan. But I have to tell you... it was AMAZING. So good. First of all, the guy that plays her husband and Jeffrey Dean Morgan are H-O-T HOT. Even if the story was terrible I could have looked at them the entire movie and been just as happy. Second, the supporting actors were fantastic especially Lisa Kudrow. I forgot just how great she is. Third, the concept of the entire story was incredibly moving. The love story pulled on every heart string and by the end I was SOBBING! Definitely stirred up all sorts of emotions and that's what a good movie does. I could have done without Harry Conick Jr. in the movie. He's got a storyline which goes along with what Hillary Swank needs to go through but it was the only thing I probably didn't like all that much although he is really funny in this role. And, kudos to Hillary Swank - she actually made me enjoy her in the movie. So, GO SEE IT! I'd see it again definitely!!

It's Friday and I'm very excited. I don't have anything going on but it's just nice to be able to sleep in tomorrow.

I'd also like to add that Britney Spears is just CRAZY! What is wrong with that girl?!?! Not even a week into the new year and she's gotten herself into more trouble than ever before. Geez! Someone please put her out of her misery.

CDL

2008-01-03T14:26:00.000-05:00

I've become a calorie counter. Not in an obsessive way but enough to hopefully create an impact in my "healthier lifestyle". I'm straying from the "D" word since there's usually no long term stay in it. So this morning I decided to look up the nutritional values of my favorite Starbucks drinks.

Grande 2% Peppermint Mocha - 400 Calories
Tall 2% Peppermint Mocha - 250 Calories

Still not good enough for me so now i'm back to an old favorite with a twist...

Tall "skinny" no whip Cinnamon Dolce Late - 160 Calories. That I can live with.

I also have my Cardio Funk class tonight. An hour of this little black woman kicking my rear end to crazy techno music. I almost passed out last week - i'm hoping for better results tonight. Maybe lasting more than a half-hour before wanting to jump off the roof.

Ooooo, and Celebrity Apprentice tonight. I haven't been this excited for an Apprentice since the end of the 3rd season. Which, by the way, only adds to the ridiculousness of my addiction to TV. Let me list the shows I currently watch and/or DVR

America's Next Top Model
Crowned (the mom/daughter pageant show)
What Not to Wear
The Amazing Race
Project Runway
Extreme Home Makeover
Grey's Anatomy
Top Chef
Army Wives
CSI: Miami
The Biggest Loser
Celebrity Apprentice
Iron Chef America
Tim Gunn's Guide to Style
Make Me a Supermodel
Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane

I mean... I can go on and on. It's so absurd - I need help! LOL!!

It's the coldest day here in the Tri-State area. I think it's about 22 degrees with a windchill in the negatives. Like i've stated before - I don't believe in Global Warming especially with weather like this. My bathing suit still stays nice and tucked into my dresser until about June/July.

Alright... almost the weekend

Hello 2008

2008-01-02T09:49:00.000-05:00

It's officially 2008 and I have to say this year was the most amazing New Year's Eve ever! If I could party like that every NYE it would become my favorite pseudo-holiday (because, let's be honest, it's not really a real holiday). Here are some pictures...

From L to R - The Penn Club all decked out, Rebecca & Chris dancing the Jive (that's Sarah's stepsister and her fiance), Rebecca Chris Sarah & Jon dancing the Waltz, Sarah & Jon (her brother), Me Sarah & Melissa (Jon's girlfriend), My shoes, Me & Sarah, Tommy & Jon, A few of the gang toasting, Me & Tommy, and finally Sarah & her Mom.

Just such a fantastic time!!! So sad i'm back to work though. It was so nice having almost 2 weeks off. The best part was that I didn't really do much. I do have two movie reviews -Atonement & National Treasure 2. Atonement was PHENOMENAL! Such a gut wrenching movie. Definitely not lighthearted but an amazing story - well written, well acted, and just overall well done. National Treasure 2 was fun. Part 1 had more of a story line but 2 was definitely more action packed. Both are worthy to see in theaters - especially Atonement. I'll be adding more to this post later. Have to run for now..............

.....................................................................................................................................................................

Ok, back - time for a little reflection since it is the beginning of 2008. A few days ago I pulled out an old journal. Last year, at this time, I was at a much different place. I never make New Year's Resolutions and at the request of what now is a past friendship I made them at the beginning of 2007. I recall the phrase, "becareful what you wish for (or pray for)". My resolutions were more of a request for a transformation in my life - my marriage, jobs, friends, family, health, etc. At the beginning of last year I had direction. I knew where I wanted to go and what I wanted to accomplish. Too bad my plans weren't His plans. I experienced transformation and continue to experience it - just not in the way that I was expecting. I was brought to the places of some of my worst fears and heartache. Financial difficulty, my marriage in complete disarray, broken friendships, health problems, death. I started 2007 closer to God than I have ever been and I ended 2007 further from God than I have ever been. I know this year serves a very real purpose - I know what i've gone through and continue to go through serves a very real purpose. I'm not the same person I was- good and bad. In the midst of it I was blessed with some amazing friendships as some old ones ended, I was given closure in a very painful area of my life, and I've become more aware of my heart which is a very big deal for me. No resolutions for me in 2008. This year has already started with the best moment and the worst moment for me. If that's any indication than I know I still have a long road ahead - another long year and more transformation to be done. But, I know I don't struggle in vain and i'm holding onto the hope even though it seems so dim sometimes. So I welcome 2008 and all it has to offer.

11 Days

2007-12-21T09:20:00.000-05:00

That's right people - starting at 3pm today i'm off for the next 11 days. I can't express how thankful I am to work for such a great company. They closed the office from now until January 1st. And, my co-workers got me such a great gift - it's just nice to be appreciated. With everything that has gone on and me failing the Praxis again it's good to be reminded that I'm where God wants me right now and with my past experiences to count my blessings for such a wonderful job. Now onto more important topics...

Shoes

I went to Macy's last night and purchased the shoes for the dress I posted yesterday. I couldn't find the exact ones online but this one is extremely close. The only difference is the bling goes across both straps in the front but not on the side. Oh and mine are gold - not lavendar like these.

Nice right?! I loved them! I tried on a few before buying these and the other ones just weren't as comfortable (and i'm ALL about comfort).

5 more hours to go....

My Dress

2007-12-20T08:54:00.000-05:00

Not only did I go to the gym but I went dress shopping last night. Here is the dress I purchased for the New Year's Eve Party i'm going to - make sure you change the color of the dress to red.

http://www.davidsbridal.com/social_dresses_detail.jsp?stid=2984&prodgroup=213

Sorry it's a link - I couldn't get the picture to copy or download. But, I love it!!! Of course it needs to be altered so tonight I need to go shoe shopping. I'm up for suggestions and reccomendations. The only must is that they need to be gold. I'm SOOOO EXCITED! I can't wait for this party!!!

Ok, gym last night... ugh - I kicked my own butt. I did 35 min of cardio and 30 crunches - I need to build up to the harder workouts. I'm thinking tonight I'll have to do weights because i'm not sure my legs can handle cardio right now (haha).

I hate the fact that I still have Christmas shopping to do. Not much but enough for it to be a pain. I'll probably finish it all up on Saturday. I'm just excited to finally give my gifts out. That's the best part for me. I was talking to my friend yesterday about not doing gifts at all next year and taking the money I would have spent and either donating it to charity or pulling a whole bunch of names off a Salvation Army tree and getting gifts for those people. I'm just so over the commercialism of this holiday.

I've officially checked out of work. Seriously - tomorrow is our last day here for almost 10 days. I have zero desire to do anything. Most of the companies we do business with are already on holiday so it's super quiet. So, PLEASE feel free to entertain me or IM or Email me today and tomorrow.

AIM - etrnalsonshine
Yahoo - etrnalsonshine
Gmail - nhayes05@gmail.com

NYC Scavenger Hunt

2007-12-19T11:32:00.000-05:00

Let's talk about what I did on Monday. It was our office "holiday party". We were kept in the dark for a month about what we would be doing. All we were told was that we needed to keep an entire day clear and dress warm. Everyone showed up at the office at 9am and we exchanged our grab bag gifts. I got a very nice bottle of red wine. At 10:15 we all packed into cabs (15 of us) and made our way to the train station which, at that point, we knew we were doing something in the City. Of course it was the coldest day so far this winter and when we arrived at Penn Station someone in our group had the brilliant idea of waiting for a cab to take us to our next destination which was Grand Central Station. Why we didn't just hop on the subway is beyond me. So, we're waiting on line for a cab FREEZING our butts off and I ended up in a cab that decided to take the long way to Grand Central. Of course - the longer the better - it's all $$$ to them. We all arrive at Grand Central and we finally figure out that our bosses signed us up for a Midtown Scavenger Hunt by CityHunt.org. We break up into 3 teams of 5. My team consisted of my boss Jackie, Dawn, Patti, and Christine. It was a 2 hour scavenger hunt which included clues to answer and photo's to take. I wish I had the photo's so you could see all of the crazy things we had to do. Keep in mind - IT'S FREEZING OUTSIDE and we had to walk everywhere.

The first clue had us looking at this corner of Grand Central's ceiling - after renovation they kept a spot of the ceiling dirty so people could see the difference

The next clue had us build a sculpture from objects found around the station. Once that was completed we had to walk to here

That's Bryant Park. Along the way we had to stop and take a ton of random pictures... in... the FREEZING COLD... NYC weather.

Once that clue was answered the next clue led us here

Yep, we walked up to Times Square where we had to venture in and out of different stores to answer more clues and take more pictures.

2 hours later - completely numb - we made it to our final destination to tally the scores and eat some food

Good news is - our team won so the frostbite on my fingers wasn't received in vain. The prize was $50 for each person on the team. Not sure if that will cover the surgery needed to remove my fingers but it'll be enough for a few coffee's at Starbucks.

At the end of the day I was EXHAUSTED!!! The City kicked my butt - it kicked all of our butts. It was definitely fun though. Something different. They do all sorts of scavenger hunts for all types of occassions like Bachelorette Parties and even just Pub Crawls. I'd definitely like to do a Pub Crawl scavenger hunt. I'll have to look into that.

So that was my Monday. It's now Wednesday which means the week is almost over. Starting Friday at 3pm i'm off until January 2nd. I CAN'T WAIT!

Oh and I joined a gym last night. After shopping around I ended up at Bally's. They had a deal for a 1-year contract for $250. That's it - I couldn't believe it. Especially after being quoted $70 a month & $199 down at a local gym near Westfield. Very excited to work out again.

Alright, I need to get back to work.....

One Week till Christmas

2007-12-18T13:35:00.000-05:00

Can you believe it?! Where in the world has December gone already! It feels like Thanksgiving was just the other day. Geeez! At least I was more productive with my shopping this time around. I didn't wait until Christmas Eve to do it all.

What a weekend and what a Monday yesterday. I'm feeling overwhelmed with life again. The last few weeks have been fine but i'm starting to slip back into that place I was at back in October. That wasn't a good place at all. Feelings of loneliness, frustration, pain - my home not being a place of comfort - all of it that felt like a ton of bricks weighing on my shoulders.

I'm thinking about taking a vacation by myself. Maybe visit a friend of mine who I haven't seen in over a year. Clear my head and attempt to resuscitate my heart and my life.

Depressing post - sorry. Tomorrow i'll have a fun post about my NYC scavenger hunt we did yesterday.

Two Points

2007-12-14T10:58:00.000-05:00

Passing NJ State requirement for the Praxis Series Exam
157

Nikki's Score
155

This is the second time i've taken it - I'm too upset for words right now.

2007-12-13T10:58:00.001-05:00

I'm going to weigh in on my post from yesterday. Let me say this - I really hate the whole excuse, "well, no church is perfect". This isn't to point out anyone in general because I know a lot of people who say that and I absolutely believe it. Church is made up of imperfect people so of course it has it's flaws. But, let's go beyond that statement. It's about bringing back the "relevance" of Jesus and his message to the church. Superman is not Jesus. William Wallace is not Jesus. People are meeting fictional characters instead of Christ. Sure, you can compare the characteristics but movies don't do scripture any justice. The reality is is that people are going to be offended by the message of Jesus. Grace should not trump truth just so we don't "offend" or so people will fill the seats. Ugh - I could go on and i'm getting frustrated so i'm done with this for now.

On another note - I'm working from home today. Tommy has the flu and the weather is awful. It rained ice from 10 until about 11 and now it's snowing. It's not a light snow either - it's coming down fast and hard. I've never experienced Westfield in the snow so I have no idea how the parking lots get plowed. I'm hoping to have to do very minimal shoveling.

Let's talk about Project Runway for a second. Jack is gone & Chris is back. What?!? How crazy was that development. I was very excited because I like Chris. And, I almost got my wish. Elisa was in the bottom two - maybe next week she'll finally get the boot. What in the world was Jeffrey thinking with that nun outfit?! Oh, and I'm going to admit this - I watched the new reality show Crowned last night with the mom & daughter beauty pageant competition. The best part about the entire show was the last 3 minutes. They told one team to pick up the scissors - which we all thought including the team meant they were gone. But then, they were told to take the scissors and cut this other teams sash. Such a great twist! The show was AMAZINGLY BAD but I will be watching next week. Someone help my tv addiction.

I could never work from home full-time. There's zip on tv during the day. Honestly, nothing. Wish I had some Christmas presents to wrap but I haven't started my shopping yet. I'm a last minute kind of person with that.

Enjoy the snow if you have it!!!!!!!!!!