Monday has rolled around yet again. If it's any indication as to how this week is going to go - the first thing I did when I came into work this morning was spill a giant cup of water all over me. I would love to say I did this for the fun of it but no. I was setting up my computer and reaching underneath to plug it in when I knocked one of my picture frames over which knocked the cup of water over I left on my desk from last week which spilled ALL OVER my shirt. Not to mention that it's just about freezing in my office so I'm lucky the water didn't turn to ice.
Speaking of... why can't buildings be set to a normal temperature during the summer time?! Why must it be artic cold to counteract the heat outside?? I'm all for temps between 67-71 in an office but here it usually ranges between 55-60 (I kid you not). It's almost impossible to dress like a normal human being. You want to dress for the heat outside but you also don't want to freeze to death inside. So today I dressed for warmth even though it's a steamy 90 degrees outside. I'm hoping to usher in the fall early (or at least break the heat wave) with the color scheme i'm wearing. I have a burnt orange 1/4 sleeve shirt, brown pants, and orange & brown flops. There's nothing bright and summery about me today - lol.
This summer is flying by and I can't even handle it. Can you all believe I have yet to lay my rear end on a beach?!? There is something so severely wrong with that. I live in Jersey - i'm supposed to be parked at the Jersey Shore during the summertime. Apparently not this season. I'd like to get there just once though - just ONCE. Is that too much to ask?? I can't complain because i've had some great weekends but i'm determined to beach it in August. Maybe i'll go this coming Sunday - who's in??
I took a mental health day on Friday. I definitely needed it. This weekend was filled with anxiety, drama, tears, frustration, and pain but also with love, caring, humor, fun, and relaxation. I'm sure I can toss a few more adjectives in there to describe it but I think that's a good summary. Outside of all of the difficulties & turmoil that surround my life right now I am incredibley blessed. I need to focus on the good because it's so easy to get caught up in everything that's going wrong. And there was a lot of good this weekend. I spent some amazing quality time (and some really fun times) with someone who is quickly becoming one of my best friends (I love you E - yep you now get a shout out on the blog since you'll probably read this... lol), I took a road trip and got to know Chrissy's future husband (Jay you are fabulous & funny - as torturous as it was i'm glad Saturday happened because it helped me get to know you more) and spent some much needed time with her (Chrissy - I love you. You have been my friend for nearly a decade now and my life would not be the same without you. I don't know how I could have gotten through Saturday night if you weren't there), I fell in love with New York all over again, I danced, I ate amazing food, I laughed, I spent some fun time outdoors, I played with my friends nieces and there's something so refreshing in the heart & soul of little kids, I watched a good friend get married - all things I need to be thankful for. All things that help me get through this season of my life.
No softball today (and no segue into the next topic of conversation -lol). I'm supposed to do dinner with a friend but I don't think that's happening since I haven't heard from her. Which means I should probably do laundry since i'll have the time tonight. Ugh - I HATE laundry. HATE, HATE, HATE. When i'm rich i'm hiring someone to do it for me. Actually, when i'm rich i'm going to live my life in a bathing suit on a tropical island so I won't need to hire anyone to do my laundry because I won't have any. So, laundry & i'll probably catch up on some shows I have DVR'd. That's my life tonight.
Alright, I should do some actual work. "Looks like someone's got a Case of the Monday's"
Joanna: So, where do you work, Peter?
Peter Gibbons: Initech.
Joanna: In... yeah, what do you do there?
Peter Gibbons: I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch.
Joanna: What's that?
Peter Gibbons: Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.
Joanna: Oh, really? About an hour ago... so you're gonna get another job?
Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'd like another job.
Joanna: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and...
Peter Gibbons: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either.
Joanna: Well, so what do you wanna do?
Peter Gibbons: I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my apartment and watch 'Kung Fu'. Do you ever watch 'Kung Fu'?
Joanna: I love 'Kung Fu'.
Peter Gibbons: Channel 39.
Joanna: Totally.
Peter Gibbons: You should come over and watch 'Kung Fu' tonight.
Joanna: Ok. Ok. Can we order lunch first? Ok.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Psalm 42
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Weddings, weddings, and more weddings
Next weekend starts my wedding season. I have 3 weddings in the next 3 months. Next Saturday is Jenn & Jay's in Connecticut. It's special to me because I've watched Jay grow tremendously over the last few years and Jenn is truly his soul mate. In August I have a very fancy & expensive wedding in Newark. It's an all day affair with 2, yes 2 receptions. It'll be fun but not exactly my cup of tea. In September I have my friend Caroline's wedding. I am thoroughly looking forward to it because I will be at a table with all of my friends from work, good food, and great music. Not that any of the other wedding's won't have that but she's Cuban and those Cuban's know how to party.
I think I found my dress for the weddings as well. I can do a triple showing of it since there won't be a repeat person at any of them. I would display it here but I want it to be a surprise for those who will be seeing me. Let's just say it's very fun and very Marilyn Monroe. I'm not 100% sold on it but i'm close.
It's almost Friday... thank goodness!! The hair is getting done on Saturday. Any suggestions for colors?? I'm keeping the length just putting a ton of layers in it since it's so heavy.
I seriously need a vacation - a vacation all by myself. I need to think, clear my head, get myself focused on what I want to do with my life. I'm a disaster.
I think I found my dress for the weddings as well. I can do a triple showing of it since there won't be a repeat person at any of them. I would display it here but I want it to be a surprise for those who will be seeing me. Let's just say it's very fun and very Marilyn Monroe. I'm not 100% sold on it but i'm close.
It's almost Friday... thank goodness!! The hair is getting done on Saturday. Any suggestions for colors?? I'm keeping the length just putting a ton of layers in it since it's so heavy.
I seriously need a vacation - a vacation all by myself. I need to think, clear my head, get myself focused on what I want to do with my life. I'm a disaster.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Happy 4th!!!
I know the 4th of July is tomorrow but I won't be working (or blogging) so I'm sending my best wishes today!
Softball has been great this week. It truly is saving me from myself right now. This is going to be a short post but I've been going through a lot of stuff lately as most of you know (or have read). Last night was a difficult night and I'm laying down some hard boundaries in certain relationships. I often doubt myself and want to retract but I read this quote this morning and it really gave me some much need encouragement...
The keynote speaker at the breakfast, Hollywood producer Mark Joseph, quoted a recent cover article in Christianity Today by professors Daniel Taylor and Mark McCloskey that said:
"In premodern times, the courage of a leader often had to be physical. In the last 500 years it is more often moral. Moral courage is the ability to do what's right even when it is deeply unpopular, even dangerous. Courage is only found where there is the genuine possibility of loss -- loss of friends, reputation, status, power, possessions or, at the extremes, freedom or life."
Have a good holiday! Enjoy some fireworks - I know I will!!!
Softball has been great this week. It truly is saving me from myself right now. This is going to be a short post but I've been going through a lot of stuff lately as most of you know (or have read). Last night was a difficult night and I'm laying down some hard boundaries in certain relationships. I often doubt myself and want to retract but I read this quote this morning and it really gave me some much need encouragement...
The keynote speaker at the breakfast, Hollywood producer Mark Joseph, quoted a recent cover article in Christianity Today by professors Daniel Taylor and Mark McCloskey that said:
"In premodern times, the courage of a leader often had to be physical. In the last 500 years it is more often moral. Moral courage is the ability to do what's right even when it is deeply unpopular, even dangerous. Courage is only found where there is the genuine possibility of loss -- loss of friends, reputation, status, power, possessions or, at the extremes, freedom or life."
Have a good holiday! Enjoy some fireworks - I know I will!!!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Two posts - One day
I know!!! Mark this day on your calendar because it will probably be the only time you'll see this happen.
Read the post below first then come up to this one. I just listened to an online sermon about the Dangers of the Emerging Church. Rob Bell was mentioned in it and I have some serious issues with him and his beliefs. But outside of him I do have some major concerns in regards to this topic. I want to hear your thoughts about the "Emerging Church" good or bad.
So, if I still have readers out there it's your turn to weigh in. I'm listening!!!!
Read the post below first then come up to this one. I just listened to an online sermon about the Dangers of the Emerging Church. Rob Bell was mentioned in it and I have some serious issues with him and his beliefs. But outside of him I do have some major concerns in regards to this topic. I want to hear your thoughts about the "Emerging Church" good or bad.
So, if I still have readers out there it's your turn to weigh in. I'm listening!!!!
Have some consideration
If you guys thought I was lying about the IcyHot think again. I'm not kidding when I say I feel like a 70 year old woman this morning. It hurts to laugh, cough, move my arm - just plain move in general - lol. But for all of the physical anguish i'm in today i'm in a great mood. Softball is very theraputic for me. And I needed it after my day yesterday.
Ahhhh yes, the day. Monday. Why are Monday's always the worst. I blog about this all of the time and it never ceases to amaze me just how awful they are. Whatever emotional barracade I build up over the weekend comes crashing down around me. I'm so not kidding about this. I'll spare you the details of the morning because it's way too personal but in the afternoon my boss called me into her office for another "closed door" meeting. I find that i've been getting these once a month since about January. Apparently my job performance sucks. It wasn't exactly said like that but it was pretty darn close. Why you might ask. Because my boss is a micromanager and nitpicks about the DUMBEST things - like her 10 minute rant about how I didn't say hi to her 2 weeks ago when she walked in the door. I say hi to EVERYBODY when they walk in. I remember that day clearly. First of all it was a ROUGH morning and second I was so super busy that I didn't even hear her say Hi. It was the first and only time i've ever not said it. After that she sugarcoated it with, "look, i know you have a lot of personal stuff going on and I haven't lost faith in you. I believe in you and that this downturn will pass... yada, yada" It was nice but once your kicked when you are already down the sugarcoating isn't all that sweet. Now, could my job performance be improved - absolutely. But, i'm bored. I do the same thing everyday which is pretty much sit here, answer phones, and edit resumes. I'm way over qualified for this job. That's not me bragging... it's the truth. The problem is 1. I love everyone I work with 2. My bosses really are great bosses 3. I can come and go whenever I pretty much want, make my own hours, and we get tons of time off for holiday's and vacations 4. It's a steady job and with the economy the way it is i'd be crazy to jump ship 5. If i ever pass my Praxis next month this job will give me the flexibility to go to school. So you see - as much as I want to spork my eyes out it makes no sense to look elsewhere.
Let's now talk about the title of this blog - have some consideration. Every Tuesday starting from today until the end of the summer is Jazz night in Westfield. People swarm into Westfield like cockroaches to listen to the live Jazz bands they have playing all around town. The stores are open late, sidewalk restaurants and cafes are buzzing, and there are a ton of things for the kids to do. But the town is PACKED. So, instead of fighting the traffic later on this evening from this point forward I will be taking the train on Tuesdays. Now, if I wasn't so lazy in the morning i'd catch the 7:17 train. But, because i'm lazy I usually catch the 7:42 express train into Newark. I left my house at 7:30 to take the 5 minute walk to the train which would leave me over 5 minutes to buy a ticket. The first of the month at a station is like the first of the month at a welfare office. The line to buy the tickets was ridiculous. So much so that the train pulled up early at 7:39 and I watched the train pull away at 7:42 still waiting in line to get a ticket. The next train was at 7:50 and it was a local train - no big deal. The guy that was 2 people ahead of me (now, we ALL can see there is a really LONG line) decides to buy 10 one way tickets. 10! These ticket machines print like your watching paint dry. I didn't see 10 people with him. Is there a need to buy 10 one way tickets NOW??!! Needless to say I BARELY made the 7:50 train but I did - thank goodness.
Between softball yesterday and taking the train today I realized that I need to slow my life down. I'm always in such a rush and I try to be in too many places at one time. I blame my parents for that. Some of you know my mom (and I love her) but if you don't - if I need to be somewhere and i'm not there 1 minute early all hell breaks loose. My mom loses her mind on me. So I have an unrealistic sense of urgency almost all the time. Plus, it's a control thing for me. If I take the trian I really have no control over times or when i'm getting somewhere. If I have my car I can come and go whenever I want and there's no waiting (unless there's traffic of course and in traffic my stress level goes from 0 to 10 in less than a second). I'm way to wound up, way too stressed, and I care way too much about being places if there really isn't a specific time to be somewhere. Who wants to live life at warp speed or constantly stressed?! I mean, I know I live in the Northeast at the center of the world pretty much but I can at least attempt to slow down. It will never be a snails pace but maybe it'll be a little bit slower than what it is now.
We have this radio in the office that usually plays 100.3, 103.5, or 95.5 - all Top 40 stations pretty much. There is this guy in our office who sits at a desk pretty close to my front desk. He has his own radio. He INSISTS on playing Iron Maiden and death metal every morning and then again late in the afternoon. Not only that but he plays it soooo loud that I can't even concentrate. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!! You ask him to turn it down and he flips out. Complains that the other radio is too loud and since he hates listening to it he has to drown it out by playing his extra loud. It's an everyday battle. Can you imagine listening to Iron Maiden every morning without wanting to throw yourself off a building???
Short week for me - we have a half day on Thursday and then off on Friday. So far I have no idea what i'm doing really. The game plan is fireworks at Brookdale park Thursday night with Tommy and a bunch of friends. Brookdale fireworks by the way are probably the best in NJ. I'm hoping the pool at Sarah's parents boat on Friday. Saturday is a BBQ at my parents trailer and Sunday I will be vegging in front of the TV (I hope). That's the game plan for the holiday weekend.
Alright - even though it's Tuesday it's technically my Wednesday. Woohooo!!
Ahhhh yes, the day. Monday. Why are Monday's always the worst. I blog about this all of the time and it never ceases to amaze me just how awful they are. Whatever emotional barracade I build up over the weekend comes crashing down around me. I'm so not kidding about this. I'll spare you the details of the morning because it's way too personal but in the afternoon my boss called me into her office for another "closed door" meeting. I find that i've been getting these once a month since about January. Apparently my job performance sucks. It wasn't exactly said like that but it was pretty darn close. Why you might ask. Because my boss is a micromanager and nitpicks about the DUMBEST things - like her 10 minute rant about how I didn't say hi to her 2 weeks ago when she walked in the door. I say hi to EVERYBODY when they walk in. I remember that day clearly. First of all it was a ROUGH morning and second I was so super busy that I didn't even hear her say Hi. It was the first and only time i've ever not said it. After that she sugarcoated it with, "look, i know you have a lot of personal stuff going on and I haven't lost faith in you. I believe in you and that this downturn will pass... yada, yada" It was nice but once your kicked when you are already down the sugarcoating isn't all that sweet. Now, could my job performance be improved - absolutely. But, i'm bored. I do the same thing everyday which is pretty much sit here, answer phones, and edit resumes. I'm way over qualified for this job. That's not me bragging... it's the truth. The problem is 1. I love everyone I work with 2. My bosses really are great bosses 3. I can come and go whenever I pretty much want, make my own hours, and we get tons of time off for holiday's and vacations 4. It's a steady job and with the economy the way it is i'd be crazy to jump ship 5. If i ever pass my Praxis next month this job will give me the flexibility to go to school. So you see - as much as I want to spork my eyes out it makes no sense to look elsewhere.
Let's now talk about the title of this blog - have some consideration. Every Tuesday starting from today until the end of the summer is Jazz night in Westfield. People swarm into Westfield like cockroaches to listen to the live Jazz bands they have playing all around town. The stores are open late, sidewalk restaurants and cafes are buzzing, and there are a ton of things for the kids to do. But the town is PACKED. So, instead of fighting the traffic later on this evening from this point forward I will be taking the train on Tuesdays. Now, if I wasn't so lazy in the morning i'd catch the 7:17 train. But, because i'm lazy I usually catch the 7:42 express train into Newark. I left my house at 7:30 to take the 5 minute walk to the train which would leave me over 5 minutes to buy a ticket. The first of the month at a station is like the first of the month at a welfare office. The line to buy the tickets was ridiculous. So much so that the train pulled up early at 7:39 and I watched the train pull away at 7:42 still waiting in line to get a ticket. The next train was at 7:50 and it was a local train - no big deal. The guy that was 2 people ahead of me (now, we ALL can see there is a really LONG line) decides to buy 10 one way tickets. 10! These ticket machines print like your watching paint dry. I didn't see 10 people with him. Is there a need to buy 10 one way tickets NOW??!! Needless to say I BARELY made the 7:50 train but I did - thank goodness.
Between softball yesterday and taking the train today I realized that I need to slow my life down. I'm always in such a rush and I try to be in too many places at one time. I blame my parents for that. Some of you know my mom (and I love her) but if you don't - if I need to be somewhere and i'm not there 1 minute early all hell breaks loose. My mom loses her mind on me. So I have an unrealistic sense of urgency almost all the time. Plus, it's a control thing for me. If I take the trian I really have no control over times or when i'm getting somewhere. If I have my car I can come and go whenever I want and there's no waiting (unless there's traffic of course and in traffic my stress level goes from 0 to 10 in less than a second). I'm way to wound up, way too stressed, and I care way too much about being places if there really isn't a specific time to be somewhere. Who wants to live life at warp speed or constantly stressed?! I mean, I know I live in the Northeast at the center of the world pretty much but I can at least attempt to slow down. It will never be a snails pace but maybe it'll be a little bit slower than what it is now.
We have this radio in the office that usually plays 100.3, 103.5, or 95.5 - all Top 40 stations pretty much. There is this guy in our office who sits at a desk pretty close to my front desk. He has his own radio. He INSISTS on playing Iron Maiden and death metal every morning and then again late in the afternoon. Not only that but he plays it soooo loud that I can't even concentrate. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!! You ask him to turn it down and he flips out. Complains that the other radio is too loud and since he hates listening to it he has to drown it out by playing his extra loud. It's an everyday battle. Can you imagine listening to Iron Maiden every morning without wanting to throw yourself off a building???
Short week for me - we have a half day on Thursday and then off on Friday. So far I have no idea what i'm doing really. The game plan is fireworks at Brookdale park Thursday night with Tommy and a bunch of friends. Brookdale fireworks by the way are probably the best in NJ. I'm hoping the pool at Sarah's parents boat on Friday. Saturday is a BBQ at my parents trailer and Sunday I will be vegging in front of the TV (I hope). That's the game plan for the holiday weekend.
Alright - even though it's Tuesday it's technically my Wednesday. Woohooo!!
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