Happy Cinco de Mayo

Welcome back to the work week everyone. As we all know I hate Monday's. But today I got up especially early because I had a dentist appointment scheduled at 8am in Clifton (which is about 20 min. north from where I live). Why I scheduled it on a Monday morning I will never no. Anyway... i'm up, i'm dressed, i'm clean and I was just about to leave my apartment at 7:30 when my cell phone rings. "Hi Nikki, it's Dottie from Dr. Resnick's office. Dr. Resnick is ill today and won't be in so we have to reschedule all of our appointments. Sorry for the inconvenience." Now, as excited as I was to not have to go to the dentist this morning and that she caught me before I made my way up to the office I was so mad because I could have slept an extra 45 minutes. It's important to soak up every minute of sleep when Monday roll's around. So instead I decided to make good use of my time by putting on makeup before I got to the office and head to work early. Both of which I would never do today.

Let's back up to Thursday night because that's where my weekend fun begins. Sarah & I really needed to do some laundry so we thought it would be fun if we went to the laundromat and did it together. Now there's 3 in town but trying to find one open late in my area is a joke. I'm so used to laundromat's being open till 11pm/12am from where I used to live. But, we find one that's open till 9:30pm - ok great, we'll get it done. Now this particular laundromat is in a stripmall and right next door is a Liquor store. So, I glance in because I was going to scope out the wine collection and I see a bar inside the store. I mean, when I say ghetto I mean GHETTO bar. An old man, alocholic person type of hangout. But, we're thinking JACKPOT. Do laundry, have a drink, chill out - perfect place while you wait. Which was exactly what happened. We got to know the bartender (total cutie - older guy but definitely good looking), watched some sports, and had a drink while our laundry was in the machines. It couldn't have been more random or more perfect. I wish you all could see this place - words cannot describe it. It's too be seen with your own eyes to understand how awesome it is. Later that night we went to the Jolly because Thursday nights are karaoke night. Good times as always. We never sing we just like to people watch and listen to how bad everyone is. Although, I will sing if i've either had too much to drink or if someone sings with me. You'll never catch me doing a solo act otherwise.

Friday night I had a movie date with Chrissy. So much fun. We haven't had one of those in FOREVER! I left work and met her at 5:30 at Clifton Commons and we saw, "Made of Honor" with Patrick Dempsey and Michelle Monaghan. Patrick doesn't know it YET but he's going to marry me someday. He is soooo HOT - I seriously can't help myself. If I was 16 I would find every magazine picture of him and stick him all over my walls. Anyway, back to the movie. It was awesome. Of course it's your typical love story. I would say along the lines of "My Best Friend's Wedding" only better. You actually felt the characters emotions and struggles throughout the movie. You were with them all the way. You laughed, you cried, you cheered at the end. It was very fulfilling. I left a satisfied viewer and would see it again. Afterwards I helped Sarah move in this gorgeous entertainment center into her new apartment and then just chilled.

Saturday I got my hair done - color and cut. It's this dark cherry red... HOT! I stuck with one color this time mainly because I can't really afford to do crazy highlights right now. As far as the cut... my hair has gotten pretty long but I wanted to keep some of the length. So Alicia cut off about 2 1/2 inches and gave me some long layers. I didn't realize how long my hair had actually gotten because even with taking that amount of hair off it's still long. It needed it though. Afterwards I got the nails and toes done - hot pink! A full day of pampering myself. It was needed. I spent the rest of the night on the couch watching tv. I ended up falling alseep at 11pm which was actually good because I needed the sleep.

Sunday I was up bright and early at 7am. Mostly because I fell asleep at 11pm the night before but also because I was going on a bus trip to Atlantic City. It was my parents, my sister and her boyfriend, and me and Sarah along with the parents of my brothers boy scout unit. It was a fundraiser for their troop. We got to the Trump Plaza around 11am, played some slots, then me, my sister, and Sarah decided to walk the boardwalk. As we're walking my sister goes, "I want to go look at some tattoo's." We walk down to Kentucky Ave. on the boardwalk and found Lucky Lou's Tattoo's. Sarah & I had been talking for awhile about getting tattoo's. I wanted Robin's initials underneath the tattoo that I already have and I also want one on my ankle that extends down to my foot. Sarah wanted one on the back of her neck and so did my sister. Well, we all found something we liked and before we made any rash decisions we sat at the Irish Pub to mull it over. All of a sudden Sarah goes, "I'm getting it done" and we all followed suit. Honestly, you couldn't beat the price. It was a $40 shop minimum. Most shop minimums up here are $80. All of our tattoo's cost $40 a piece because they were small and not all that detailed. Sarah got the chinese symbol for change on her neck, my sister got her first initial (the letter A) with a star on her neck, and I got Robin's initial's underneath my tattoo on my arm. Here are two pictures of what it looks like

The first picture is from yesterday about 2 hours after it was done and the second picture is from today. I love it. I love all of our tattoo's.

Today is Cinco de Mayo. I would say 98% of Ameican's have no idea what it actually means - just that it's a day to drink at your local Chevy's. I actually heard one guy give an explanation yesterday that was completely wrong. So, for all of those interested in knowing what Cinco de Mayo really is here is an excerpt from wikipedia...

"Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for "5th of May") is primarily a regional and not an obligatory federal holiday in Mexico. The holiday commemorates an initial victory of Mexican forces led by General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín over French forces in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. The date is observed in the United States and other locations around the world as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride. A common misconception in the United States is that Cinco de Mayo is Mexico's Independence Day; Mexico's Independence Day is actually September 16, which is the most important national patriotic holiday in Mexico."

Concerts, Courts, and the News?

Alright alright, it's time to talk about the Hanson concert. I came, I saw, I conquered. I refuse to give into Christin's insistence that they are better than sliced bread but I will say this... they are fun. I have been to worse concerts. But still, it was Hanson, and I would have much rather been somewhere else. Especially when Mmm Bop came on - acoustic version. I almost did a Van Gogh to my ears. I think the best part of the entire concert was the average age of the girls there. There weren't many younger than 21 I'll say that. These boys have a cult following that's for sure. I do have pictures that I'll post later. I can't seem to get them uploaded properly.

I had the afternoon off yesterday to finally settle my traffic ticket in Scotch Plains. 5 1/2 hours and 1 evacuation later I had to pay $433 so I wouldn't get points on my license. The municipal court system absolutely needs an overhaul. There was no need for me or anyone else to be there that long. Between the lines and the judge and the order of the cases it was a nightmare. No sort of structure. The line you checked in with the court clerk was the same line you waited in to pay your ticket. So when people arrived for the 4pm court if you were there trying to pay your fine from the 12pm court you had to wait on the same line as those checking in. And, the fire alarm and evacuation took a good hour from the day. I was exhausted and broke by the time it was all over. I couldn't wait to get out of Scotch Plains.

Since my friends have taken the liberty of creating a Spring playlist I thought I'd go ahead and make one myself. It's a little bit long but it needed to be varied. Here goes:

1. Cadence (Acoustic) - Anberlin
2. I want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles
3. Good - Better than Ezra
4. Caroline - Brian Fitzpatrick
5. I Ain't In Checotah Anymore - Carrie Underwood
6. Killa - Cherish
7. Free and Easy (Down the Road I Go) - Dierks Bentley
8. Big Me - Foo Fighters
9. I Won't Dance - Frank Sinatra
10. Waiting for the World to Fall - Jars of Clay
11. What If I Loved You - Joey Gian
12. Waiting On the World to Change - John Mayer
13. Have a Little Faith In Me - John Hiatt
14. When You Say You Love Me - Josh Groban
15. No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem - Kenny Chesney
16. Broken - Jump Little Children
17. Falling Down - Lynden
18. Two Ways to Say Goodbye - Pat Monahan
19. Wave on Wave - Pat Green
20. Grace - Phil Wickham
21. The Candy Man - Sammy Davis, Jr.
22. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
23. Our Song - Taylor Swift
24. World Spins Madly On - The Weepies
25. Saving Grace - Steve Jones
26. Leave the Pieces - The Wreckers
27. Beverly Hills - Weezer

So there ya go! Hope you enjoy the list!

I was coming out of Stop & Shop today during lunch and there was a camera crew there just hanging out. This woman comes over to me and asks if she can ask me a few questions. She says she's from Channel 7 and is interviewing people about the rising costs in supermarkets. I kindly tell her that I don't shop that often to notice but she insists on asking me a few questions. Mind you - this is NOT my best looking day. Of all the days I decided to not care what I look like today is the day. I made up some answers because I really have not noticed prices going up. Look for me, my sunglasses, and my fuzzy NorthFace jacket tonight on World News Tonight with Charles Gibson at 6:30pm (est). I really think they'll keep my segment!!! I'm GLOBAL people!!!

Against my Will

Tonight I will be seeing these boys at Starland Ballroom

Oh yes - that's Hanson. Please don't think any less of me for this. I can't stand them. I love my friend who loves Hanson so that's why I'm going (under much protest however). I might slit my wrists when they play Mmm Bop. Either that or do a Van Gogh to my ear.

I really do enjoy my new counselor but last night made me question her judgement of me and my situation. Tommy & I were invited to a "Love & Respect" small group from her church at a house in Fanwood (which is about 5 min from where I live). I'm a little over the whole "Girls see and hear in pink and boys see and hear in blue." It's great with arguments and I agree with a lot of the concepts but practically speaking other factors play into relational problems besides colors. Ontop of that, everyone I was surrounded by (including my counselor) were UBER Christians. It's been a very long time since i've been to church and even longer since i've been a part of a small group. God & I just aren't seeing eye to eye right now. It's a struggle for me and i'm working on it but I was definitely not ready for last night. I don't think overwhelming quite cuts it. I couldn't wait to run out the door when it was all over. My counselor and I really need to talk about this. I've expressed to her where I'm at with my faith and she understands the depth of problems Tommy & I face but last night made me feel like we aren't being taken seriously. That a "Love & Respect" small group is the answer to fix my faith and my marriage. At this point I don't know what will fix any of that but I do know a small group is not the answer.

I was able to decompress later on that night by helping Sarah and her mom hang curtains and put together some furniture at her new place. There's just such a comforting spirit that surrounds them both.

I'm pretty fried. Dare I say Hanson might do me some good because I'll get to laugh.

Rainy Monday

Under the advice of some friends I decided to take down my last post. Most of you read the story so you are all caught up. If you haven't, just ask me and I will share my dramatic moments of last week with you.

As if Monday's aren't difficult enough - today is extra special because it's cold and rainy outside. It was almost physically painful getting out of bed. I could have slept all day under my nice, warm covers. But no, here I am, back to the daily grind of work.

This weekend was nice. Friday night I made some island cocktails and Sarah and I hung out at her new apartment (which is FABULOUS!). Saturday I had breakfast with Liz and then went to Newark with Sarah's mom to see where Sarah's stepsister will be having her wedding reception. The place is gorgeous of course and I'm definitely looking forward to going. Then I ran to Somerville to pick up some things and rounded out my afternoon with a nice long nap. When I finally woke up I went over Liz & Nicole's for their clothing swap party. It's interesting how my life has changed. There were friends from a couple of different circles that I used to run in and it was a little overwhelming because my life isn't like that anymore. For better or worse times have changed and it's hard to go back there with all of those memories of what life used to be like. Not that I don't like my life now but it was just different with less problems and less worries. So, I stayed for an hour and then Sarah & I went to the Colorado Cafe. Always good times on a Saturday night. Country Line Dancing at it's finest! Yesterday was Westfield's Festival. Twice a year (Spring & Fall) they close off the streets in downtown Westfield and they have this outdoor flea market/carnival. So much fun! I didn't really walk around yesterday. I just went down for some food and went back upstairs. The food though - YUM!! Carnival food is always amazing. I had an Italian hotdog, fried oreo's, and a crepe stuffed with chocolate, strawberries, and banana's. The crepe was to DIE for!!! I then napped for about an hour or so due to the food coma I was in and then finished the night catching up on some shows I DVR'd.

Speaking of shows - the two shows I got caught up on were ANTM & Top Chef. Needless to say I was NOT sad to see Lauren go. For crying out loud that girl should have been gone weeks ago!! The best part of the show though was when Miz J busted out laughing at Dominique's commercial. I laughed so hard! She needs to be the next one gone... she's so FUGLY! I was a little disappointed to see Jen go on Top Chef but if she said "I'm doing this for Zoe" one more time I was going to spork her eye out. So annoying!

Life is funny sometimes... my life especially. There is never a dull moment.

Growing old gracefully?

I caught up with an old college friend this morning. I have to be honest and say that he was an old flame but the timing was just never right. I had the pleasure of looking at some recent photo's of him and i'm very glad I did. Whatever feelings I might have carried for him are now completely gone. The guy has not grown old gracefully. Poor dude! Back in college he was one fine looking specimen but now... ooof - not so much. Still a nice guy though at least he's got that going for him.

Now that i've completely trashed a poor innocent soul (lol) let's move on...

Karaoke last night - fabulous! I love karaoke. Not so much singing but watching other people sing really bad. Karaoke brings out all sorts of creatures and it's so much fun to watch. Although, I do hate the ones who do the karaoke circuit. You know the ones that sing really well and go from place to place singing the same song. It's probably the only attention they can get. Karaoke is no fun unless you are drunk and singing Bon Jovi really loud and way off pitch.

Tonight I have a Tricky Tray. It'll be fun. Maybe i'll win something although odd's are I won't. I never win at these things. Tomorrow will be a fun-filled day of laundry followed by some packing and cleaning for Sarah's new apartment because Sunday is the big move. That's about my weekend in a nutshell. At some point tomorrow though I need to get some new pants. I have lost 10lbs (finally... it only took me 3 months) and none of them fit me. I need work pants and jeans. I should look online and see what kind of sales are going on.

TGIF!!!

Traffic Court

The last 72 hours have been confusing, draining, and life altering. The reality of where I'm at has just about hit me full-force. I say 'just about' because the next few weeks will probably be even more challenging. At some point I'm sure I will come face to face with the true mess and brokenness of my life. Not that i'm not aware of it but I know there's so much more bottoming out to do before I can begin the real healing process.

On another note let's talk about my day yesterday. About a month ago I had gotten 5 tickets within a 7-day span. 3 of the 5 happened in Scotch Plains and all at the same time. I got pulled over for careless driving (it was a two-lane merge and I passed a car on the left to get ahead of him and I got pulled over for it), my taillight was out, and I also had an expired insurance card on me (which was only expired 3 days - i had just forgotten to put the new one in). So 3 tickets. Careless driving in NJ is 2 points and I have a clean driving record. If I went to court they would take off the points and just give me a bigger fine. Yesterday was my court date - 12 noon. I get online to check in and it's a LONG line. I end up getting stuck behind this woman from New York who won't SHUT UP. She's telling me all about her life, cops in New York, how I need to fight my ticket, etc. On, and on, and on for almost a half-hour before we got into the courtroom. We get in the courtroom and I sit there for 2 1/2 hours watching some of the dumbest people go in front of the judge. It really is a simple process and it's amazing how many people can't figure it out. Finally they call my name. Now, in my old town and the towns around me if you fought a ticket it was taken care of the same day you went to court. Well, I found out that after 2 1/2 hours Scotch Plains doesn't work like that. I had to plead not guilty to the careless driving and I have to go back NEXT WEEK to talk to the prosecutor to have the points dropped which means another 2 hours in the courtroom. And let me tell you how many traffic violations there were. Scotch Plains police have nothing better to do because there crime rate is so low. There was actually a woman who had a ticket for a loud muffler. Honestly - that's just crazy!

Have I mentioned how much I miss St. John?! In case I haven't it's almost like a bad case of homesickness.

I think I might have a stomach bug. The stomach's not feeling so hot today. Oh well - I'll survive. At least the weather is GORGEOUS. It's supposed to be warm and sunny the next 3 days so i'm pretty excited!

Ok, i'm back...

My posts might still be sporadic but I'll try to update more often. I've spent most of the last month in a downward spiral. I find myself out of sorts with who I am and who I want to be. The inner conflict has become a daily battle. I'm exhausted most days because I'm fighting for and against myself. I know that may be confusing but I understand it. I want to do things MY way because i'm just so fed up with everything. As much as I know better, every part of me wants to run from God and run from this mess I'm in. I went on vacation last week and had the best time of my life. I was with friends on a tropical island far away from all of my problems. I know it wasn't reality but for a brief moment I was happy and at peace. I can't tell you how hard I cried when we had to leave. I knew I was coming home to the same stress and the same problems - they've been the same one's for over a year now. I just want it all to go away. I want a different life. I'll keep some elements of it but overall I need change. I think Kenny Chesney has the best line right now, "Wouldn't take much for me to up and run to another life somewhere in the sun."

Speaking of... let me post some pictures of my recent vacation to St. John/St. Thomas

I literally have over 300 pictures. If you want to see them just let me know and I'll send the snapfish link. How I wish I was back there....