I officially started my Christmas shopping today. Granted, it was a very small purchase but it felt good. Got me in the holiday spirit today! Not that it takes much to get me there since I love this time of year!

Anyone watch the tree lighting at Rockefeller Center last night?! A few thoughts....

1. Celine Dion lip synched and that was absolutely inexcusable to me since I had to listen to Ashley Tisdale's live voice. Terrible as it was at least she busted out a live song.
2. I would leave my husband for Josh Groban. He already knows this but he made me swoon last night. I think I caught myself drooling at one point. That voice is AMAZING!
3. Tony Bennett jacked up the lyrics to Santa Claus is Coming to Town. How do you screw up that song?!
4. Sick of this whole "go green" movement. Did you really conserve that much energy by chopping down the tree with a handsaw?! I bet money on the fact that all the performers took private jets to the show last night so maybe you should rethink the best way to "go green".
5. I love the tree and I love New York at Christmas. There's no better place to be.

I also watched two of the many favorite shows I have. America's Next Top Model which is so bad it's good and Project Runway. Let's talk about ANTM first - I was not sorry to see Heather go last night. That girl can take a rockin' picture. She's gorgeous but that's about it. She can't do anything else. And, I was tired of her using her illness as a crutch. Peace out Heather - good luck. Now, Project Runway... first of all can we all agree that Tiki Barber is a terrible runway judge. Not only that but he has no fashion sense. And, why oh why did crazy Elisa make it to another week?!?! She couldn't even watch her model change into her design. Ugh - get her off the show already!!!!! I have to say though, I love watching these shows with friends. It's so much fun to critique with other people!

I have zero motivation to work this week. Literally - NONE.

August Rush

Last night I saw "August Rush". A-MAZING! Absolutely incredible!! The character development was definitely lacking but it wasn't really needed in this film. You FELT the characters in the music. The music was powerful and all of your emotions were caught up in the notes. It's the heart and soul of the film and it will capture you, amaze you, and awe you. Go see it - immediately!

Another exciting thing happened last night... I found out that this is where Tommy and I will be spending New Years Eve:

That is the Penn Club of New York - http://www.pennclub.org/

We will be celebrating a 50th birthday party there, in the heart of Manhattan, while watching the ball drop. It's a black tie affair so I've got some serious dress shopping to do! I can't tell you how much fun this is going to be!!!!! I also realized something while watching "August Rush". I need to find myself again - I feel lost. There is so much that I love to do, love to be apart of, and want to strive for that I've let go and I need to get it back. I need to get myself back. Alright, i'm going to browse the web for dresses....

It's officially Christmas Season

Santa crossed the finish line at the Macy's Parade so it's officially Christmas Season. Hope everyone had a fantastic holiday. I had two Thanksgiving dinners this year and both were really good. Actually, Sarah's parents had AMAZING food so it won the overall applause of my stomach. I don't think i've ever tasted a better turkey!

I'm going to keep a list theme since Chrissy started it. Here are some things I love....

1. Christmas - the lights, smells, sounds, movies
2. Friends
3. Dancing to really bad remixes of 80's music
4. Staying up to all hours of the night knee deep in conversation
5. Reality TV (let's thank Kimora Lee Simmons for some seriously good entertainment)
6. Being in the same room with someone and knowing that your spirit is completely at rest with them.
7. Laughing
8. A good book
9. Guitar Hero III - do it, it's addicting
10. Brownies
11. Peppermint Mocha
12. Roasted Chestnuts
13. Movies - especially You've Got Mail, Emperors New Groove (but only with Chrissy), What Women Want, White Christmas, and many others
14. Memories - the warm fuzzy kinds (like road trips to VA)
15. New York City

I think 15 is a good number to stop with. This list could keep going but i'll spare you.

I love this time of year... I truly, truly do. It's my favorite time and it's just not long enough. It flies by so quickly.

Turkey Pre-game

I have to blog because if I don't this day is going to continue to drag. I have to make it another hour and a half and then i'm done with work until next Monday.

I can't tell you how excited I am to eat over the course of the next 24 hours. I've got a rockin' dinner tonight at Sarah's parents house followed by dinner at my mom's tomorrow night. Then it's dessert at my father-in-laws. Lots o' food, lots o' good food. Turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, veggies, pies, cranberry sauce - yum!!! I'm also looking forward to watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade tomorrow morning. It's one of those traditions that I actually look forward to every year. Brings back some really good, warm, fuzzy memories.

For those of you who get up to go shopping at 5am on Black Friday I have one word for you -NUTS!

So, we were watching The Biggest Loser last night because I just love that show and in between commercials they do these trivia questions... did you know one slice of Pecan Pie has 500 calories and the average holiday weight gain is 7lbs. That's ridiculous! Speaking of the show - Kae is my hero! She lost 39% of her body weight - now that's some seriousness.

Alright, i'm bored with this post. Have a Happy Thanksgiving all!

Snow

Yes, it's snowing out. For some reason Thanksgiving week in NYC always comes with terrible weather. I don't quite understand it.

The weekend was fun - didn't really do much. Oh, I did win an IPod shuffle from a crane game (i spent the entire summer sharpening my crane skills and it finally paid off) and bought a pea coat that Macy's left the security tag on. I have to go to another Macy's today to have it taken off.

I did take my Praxis: Social Studies Content exam. I almost cried taking it because it was so hard. My future plans rest on the outcome of this test. If I don't pass I'm not sure if i'll take it again.

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving. Wednesday night I'm doing Thanksgiving with Sarah's family and then Thursday I'll be up at 9am to watch the Macy's Parade in my pj's, follow it up with a Christmas movie, and then we'll be going to my mom's for dinner. I love Thanksgiving and then all the days leading up to Christmas. It's my FAVORITE time of year!

I'm being lazy today. Definitely don't feel like working

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

This post is in honor of Christina Marie Aceino who turned 28 today! I have had the pleasure of being her friend for the last 7 years and she has taught me so much. In the good times and the bad - she's been there. From our first date at a Journey concert with Nole the popcorn man to the many all-nighters with the airport trips that followed to the warm hugs when I lost loved ones and all the moments in between - my life wouldn't have been the same without her. So Chrissy... Happy Birthday! I love you!!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

The last couple of days have been horrible and yet amazing all at the same time. Let's talk about some seasonal first's though...

I threw my first snowball of the season
I saw a house already decorated for Christmas with the lights turned on
Starbucks red cups are back and the store is all decked out for the holiday's

Thursday thru Saturday I spent most of it avoiding home. Thursday night I went to dinner with the girls from work. We went to this place called Church Street because Tricia's brother-in-law is the executive chef there. The main menu was pretty much seafood and things like duck confeit and fois gras. We didn't order from the main menu though - we had a tasting. I felt like I was a judge on Iron Chef. My dishes were different from the other girls because I don't eat seafood and I think I suffered because of it. Their dishes looked amazing but 5 out of the 6 dishes for me were sweet and not savory. Lots of fig and butternut squash in each. One more sweet dish and I was going to gag. And the dish that wasn't sweet was lamb and I hate lamb. Good thing the company was good. Afterwards I met up with Sarah and we went to the Colorado Cafe for some really bad karaoke. Love it!

Friday was an interesting evening. Tommy and I went out for a bit and it was definitely awkward but that's just where we are at right now. We did have a good time at the local puppy store though... look at how cute this little guy is. I wanted to take him home!!!



















Later on Sarah and I went out to our local hot spot and talked. I was pretty upset that night about some things so it was good to vent.

Saturday morning Sarah & I trekked to Sparta to get her hair done at my friends salon. Her hair is ROCKIN'. It looks amazing!!! She's got chocolate brown low lights and blonde highlights. HOT! The rest of the day was spent stopping by my grandmothers and running errands. She was such a good sport meeting my grandmother because Rosalba is a handful. I have to tell you about one of the errands though. We had to return something at NY & Co. so we're waiting on line and this weird woman is in front of us. She's yapping about Sarah's hair and then talks to me about my hair and then it's her turn at the counter. This is what we hear her say, "Hi, i'd like to do an exchange. Here are the pants I want (she places the pants on the counter)" So, the employee goes, "Ok, where are the pants you'd like to exchange?" The woman goes, "Oh, i'm wearing them. I thought i'd just change in the dressing room." The employee's face and our faces were priceless! We could not believe what we were witnessing. She was wearing the pants she wanted to exchange... who does that?!?!

Later that night we went to what i'm sure will become our new hangout. It was like being in a really bad version of the Wedding Singer. It's this bar/80's club and we were definitely the youngest one's there. But it was probably the best time EVER. Sight crimes everywhere!!! After the 80's club music and the live band they played modern hip-hop and R&B and we absolutely got our groove on. Serious good times.

Sunday for the most part was pretty draining. Tommy & I had our first counseling session and it went really well. It's the beginning of a long and emotional road to recovery. When I got home Sarah & I spent the entire night on the couch vegging to the TV. It was definitely theraputic and needed. Then, Tommy got home around 11:30 and Sarah headed out around 12. I had to move my car from the front of our apartment building to the back so I told her I would drive her to her car since she was parked in a lot that was a good distance away. I walked around to the drivers side of the car and found my front tire completely FLAT. Poor Tommy had to change my tire in the cold at midnight last night. What a way to round out a weekend.

My heart breaks for friends of mine who are going through some serious health problems right now. I love them dearly and I pray that God would pour out his love, strength, and healing.

Is it Friday yet?

Hope

Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them. - Vincent McNabb

Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark. - George Iles

Hope is putting faith to work when doubting would be easier. - Author Unknown

Martin Luther King, Jr. - We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.

Martin Luther King, jr.
If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out. - Vaclav Havel

True hope dwells on the possible, even when life seems to be a plot written by someone who wants to see how much adversity we can overcome. True hope responds to the real world, to real life; it is an active effort - Walter Anderson

Now i'm going to copy from my friends post from yesterday that touched a very deep part of my heart. She was talking to a friend of her's about a seminar about "Fear". This is what was shared...

"Most of the time, God drags us to the 11th hour - to that state of complete hopelessness. helplessness. That place we hate being. Finally accepting of our utter futility in our humanity. He waits for that moment, when we come to the absolute end of ourselves...and then He performs the miracle.

But some of the time...He doesn't. We meet horror in real life -- when up to that point, it was only materialized as fear and anxiety in our hearts. the what-if comes true. We find ourselves in the 12th hour. Whatever hidden nightmare of an idea that was festering in your heart -- is suddenly reality. is God less loving? is God less sovereign? Satan so powerfully pushes the lies into our hearts....but she concluded that there should be, even in the 12th hour, a realization that though we experience a death -- in any form; the physical loss of life, loss of dreams, loss of security, loss of whatever -- we are never forsaken. He has promised a 13th hour. if we can pry our hands off of all this world and our fallen state offers, though the clock can strike 12 at any time, hour 13 is waiting. unshakable. a covenant to us.

Jesus himself was forsaken....so that i never would be.

Psalms 22:King David (prophetically) speaks on behalf of Israel:"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me,from the words of my groanings?O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,and by night, but I find no rest...Yet, You are Holy,enthroned on the praises of Israel. In You our fathers trusted;they trusted, and You delivered them..." i don't know when deliverance comes.but is my desperation for temporary deliverance eclipsing the very notion that, in fact, i am already delivered?

though David was utterly undone by his circumstances, he recognized he would be delivered.in this life...or the next.
he feels forsaken. check.
he feels isolated. check.
he feels he can't cry anymore. check.
he's unable to rest. check.

Yet, You are Holy. as if to conclude it all...as if it were meant to be a lasting impression...as if to say, 'if you hear nothing else,' Jesus' final expression of love to the witnesses during his ascent:"...and behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age...."as i meditate on all i can, while grappling with the very idea of fallen humanity, broken bodies, broken hearts, broken dreams, broken lives --His TRUTH is absolute, capable of arresting and interrupting every scheme by the prince of darkness to torment my mind....always, even to the end..."

Thank you Allison

If we lose hope we lose everything...

There's something freeing about being able to say what you want to say when you want to say it. I've learned how to be more real with myself and with others but where as I kept myself too closed off I find myself becoming too open. That fine line is a truly fine line. I was probably too honest yesterday with Tommy. I said some real honest things that needed to be said - but it was something that I probably should have said in a safer, more neutral place like a counseling room. But, what's done is done. I've offically thrown my hat into the ring and made the announcement that this all sucks. That I can't continue to pretend that I don't feel the way I feel or that everything is ok. It's either a starting point, or a breaking point.

Short Hills Mall

Did I tell you that my boss lost her mind yesterday?! Well, she did. The story is long so i'll spare you all the details. Short of the long of it goes like this - lunch was left to just Jeanelle and I yesterday since the rest of the girls had a meeting. Normally, Jeanelle doesn't go out with us because she's Jackie's niece and Jackie rides her hard. Jackie doesn't really like all of us going out together anyway so to have Jeanelle go out with us would just send her through the roof. But, I thought that since it was just me, I would invite Jeanelle out since she never does come with us and that it wouldn't be a big deal. Well, she tagged along with me to Best Buy during lunch so I could get a new cell phone. It ended up taking longer than I expected and we showed up at the office about 20 minutes late. Jeanelle got ripped a new one and I felt bad because it was my fault she was late. So then I got called into the office and got ripped too. I tried to take the heat for Jeanelle but Jackie has it in for her niece so there was nothing I could do to save Jeanelle. Ultimately, it really wasn't a big deal. It's not like we purposefully took advantage. I should have known though because Jackie was in a bad mood from the minute she walked in. It was actually the first time I ever got lectured like that by her. Normally she's really cool. Oh well - what are ya gonna do.

Speaking of cell phones - I dumped Sprint yesterday and joined the Verizon network. I'm very pleased with my decision especially since I LOVE my new phone. I purchased the LG enV with the new plan.

Onto more shopping adventures....

Last night Sarah and I trekked to Short Hills Mall to get me a new business suit. First of all, I always get confused trying to get to it because there's about 4 exits that lead around the mall and only 1 or 2 roads off the exits that actually go to the mall. I jacked it up again last night so we traveresed the area around the mall for a good 20 minutes before actually parking. A little note about Short Hills Mall - it's not a mall i'm comfortable in. It's VERY upper class and normally really quiet. I'm used to the ghetto malls. Anyway, it's now the closest mall to me so I had no choice. So, we walked through Bloomy's and headed towards Macy's. I love Macy's because you can always get great deals. We locate the suit section of Macy's and I have to tell you guys, I completely LOVED having Sarah with me last night. Not that I normally don't love having her with me but she was like my own personal shopper (and she's REALLY good at it). She dug through the racks and picked out really great suits. So after trying on about 10 of them we found one that was perfect. Here comes the best part of the story and major props to Grace the lady in the women's suit department. The suit was orginally $320, marked down to $220, then marked down to $99. I picked up a purple tank for underneath which was originally $22, marked down to $14.50, marked down to $7. We get to the register, she rings me up, then gives me $25 off my entire purchase just because. My budget for a new suit was $150-$200 and last night I got a new suit for $82. How AWESOME is that! I've got to go online to Macy's and give Grace some really good feedback.

I've decided to try to make myself more presentable at work - which means actually doing my hair instead of throwing it back into a ponytail, makeup, some nice shoes, etc. Not that I normally don't try to look ok but I'm more into comfort than anything and sometimes it reflects sort of sloppy. But what a difference just a little sprucing up makes. I feel better about myself and I've gotten a ton of compliments this week. Not that i'm all about a pat on the back but it sure does make a woman feel good to hear those kind of things.

I'm spoiled by my local Starbucks. The Westfield Starbucks is so quick and efficient. Normally there's a line out the door and you wouldn't believe how fast you get through it. Not only that but the coffee doesn't suffer for the good service. Sometimes you have quick service and crappy coffee but not in this case. So I now compare all Starbucks to mine and I have to be honest - i'm really disappointed. The Starbucks in Short Hills last night was dead - we were 2 of only 3 people in the place ordering coffee. Not only did the entire process take 15 minutes but I went to order my first CAC of the season and they were all out of it. Disappointment all around!

Lifehouse has a new song out called "From Where you Are". It's pretty good - download it.

47 Shopping Days Left Till Christmas

This holiday season is QUICKLY approaching. I was in Home Depot yesterday and not only were the Christmas decorations displayed but there was music to go along with it. I love Christmas, LOVE Christmas - but I start my holiday cheer on Thanksgiving. Until then it's just too early.

I don't have much to say today. It's cold and rainy here in Jersey and I have no desire to work. I'm a little excited about tonight though because I have to shop for a business suit. I need one for a client visit on Thursday.

Alright, i'm done. Maybe i'll have more to write later... otherwise that's it.

Party like it's 1999

It was a rough weekend, fun, but rough. What's surprising is I barely had a chance to rest and yet my cold seems to be fading away. It's not 100% yet but what a difference when I woke up this morning. I actually did my hair and put on makeup - did I mention that it's Monday?! I have no idea what got in to me today.

Let's talk about the weekend for a second...

Friday I left work early because I was still dying - I can't even begin to describe the sinus pressure. I took it easy for most of the afternoon but then Sarah and I decided to go to Pazzo Pazzo for a drink around 10pm. So much fun! We had a few drinks, talked, laughed, made fun of the random array of people... it was good times. Saturday the most exciting part of the day was doing laundry. It was cold and cloudy and I still wasn't feeling well. But then Saturday night Sarah & I watched "Mean Girls" which I had never seen before and afterwards we went to our usual Saturday night hotspot - 16 Prospect (formerly the Tratorria in Westfield). We hung out, talked... the usual. My poor husband has to work at 4am on Sunday's so weekends are a bust for him. I woke up Sunday and spent almost the entirety of the day on the couch. Patti came over in the early afternoon and we had lunch and wandered around Westfield for awhile but that was about it. I spent the rest of the evening on the couch watching tv. I actually stayed in my pj's ALL day and it was great. I didn't care about the snobby Westfielders disapproving of my attire.

I had a realization though yesterday and it's one that I had a couple years ago. Some people drown their emotions in food, others shop, and I drink. I get that reasoning. Not that alcoholics are excused but I get that thought process and why they do what they do. So I'm swearing off drinking for awhile. I need to find a better outlet for my emotions and thoughts.

Speaking of some raging thoughts....

A little over a month ago I ended a friendship with someone who, at one point, was a very close friend. It was a rough "breakup". Well, I haven't spoken to her since our last exchange of emails... actually more like her last email which I never responded to. She was looking for a fight and I wouldn't give it to her. But, I wanted to get my IPod back that I had lent her and I sent her a text message over the weekend. It was really nice and really simple - just "hey, i know i haven't talked to you in awhile and normally I wouldn't ask you for this but I need to get my IPod back. Tommy can't find his and so I kind of need it. If you can leave it on your mailbox i'll be happy to come pick it up." That's it. That's all I said. I get a text this morning that says, "your behavior is very high school - your IPod is on the mailbox". Oh, right because that comment wasn't very high school. Ugh, so over that kind of drama.

My mom and my aunt have a phrase that goes like this, "God doesn't like ugly" in reference to people doing bad things. Well, my ex pyscho crazy lunatic boss is getting what's coming to her. She was in the news yesterday for her business doing some illegal stuff. I know I shouldn't enjoy her misery but I DO.

Back to work folks... have a good one

Sniffles

I've fallen behind on my new blog already. I was out sick yesterday and left my laptop at work. Tuesday night I had a wicked sore throat which is always a precursor to an impending cold for me. Sure enough Wednesday morning I woke up around 6am completely congested and my throat feeling like sandpaper. I made an attempt to go to work around 7:30 but it was futile and I called out. I have so much going on today and tomorrow here at the office that if I forced myself to work yesterday I would be completely useless today (even though I basically feel like that anyway). The worst part about a cold for me isn't so much not being able to breathe, which of course is bad, but it's the complete lack of energy. Or the spurts of feeling fine and then crashing a half-hour later. Sucks. Not to mention I have to go out tonight. I can't cancel. I mean, I can, but I had made these plans two weeks ago and someone is staying around who lives in Staten Island so I have to go. I'm contemplating calling out tomorrow but I have a huge meeting in the morning. We'll see.

Needless to say my Halloween was a bust. I might have to go play Halloween in DC next year... want to know why... click the link on the top of my page on the left hand side that says The Cat.

This cold tells me i'm completely run down. Is it any wonder though. I mean, it was bound to happen. I'm exhausted on all levels.

I'm boycotting "Dancing with the Stars". I can't believe they kicked off Sabrina. She should have won the entire thing. That's why I hate when viewers can vote because it's never about talent it's always a popularity contest.

I was in Aerosoles yesterday getting some fresh air and hanging with Sarah when these two little girls with their mom came in. One was dressed up like a princess and the other like a bumble bee. They couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. So well behaved and so adorable. I started crying. I'm almost glad I don't volunteer anymore at a crisis pregnancy center because I now can't fathom abortions on any level when there are those who are at their wits end trying desperately just to have a baby. Not that I ever agreed with abortion at all but I hate it even more now. Even the slighest thought of the possibility of not being able to have children is a pain that can't be described.

Enough on that... i'm too tired to even let myself go there right now.

I have to get back to work. It's almost Friday!!!!!!!!!