Monday, July 28, 2008

The Boss!!!

Bruce Springsteen – true Jersey! I’ve seen him 4 times and each time he has been great. I reconnected with an old friend of mine this week and she called me on Saturday to see if I wanted to go to the Springsteen concert on Sunday night. Giants Stadium – section 131. For those that know the Stadium those are AMAZING seats. I wish I could have found my camera to prove it but you’ll have to just trust me. Last night, my 5th Bruce concert, was PHENOMENAL. The best yet!! The guy is approaching 60 and he sounds just as good as he did when he was 20. Not only that but he was rockin’ out, dancing, sliding – truly engaging the crowd. The best part of the night (for those who are fans – you’ll appreciate this) was his closing set. Here is the entire set list which was great (and before the encore he played for 2 ½ hours straight) but take a look at the last 5 songs! The stadium was OUT OF CONTROL!!!

Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out, Radio Nowhere, Lonesome Day, Adam Raised A Cain, Spirit In The Night, Summertime Blues, Brilliant Disguise, Atlantic City, Growin' Up, Janey Don't You Lose Heart, I'll Work For Your Love, Youngstown, Murder Incorporated, The Promised Land, Livin' In The Future, Mary's Place, Working On The Highway, Tunnel Of Love, The Rising, Last To Die, Long Walk Home, Badlands

Girls In Their Summer Clothes, Jungleland, Born To Run, Bobby Jean, Dancing In The Dark, American Land, Rosalita

I needed it. I needed the concert, I needed the time with Kim – all around it was therapeutic to my soul. Thank goodness I spent Saturday night on my couch though. Simply Sleep knocked me out for 10 hours – I took it at 10:30pm Saturday night and woke up at 9:30 Sunday morning. It was great! The best sleep I’ve had in WEEKS! It made up for the lack of sleep I got last night. It took us over an hour to get back to Belleville (which is only a 5/10 min ride from the stadium). I was going to stay at my sisters since she lives in Belleville and it’s a quick ride to work from there in the morning. I get there, I put my pj’s on, I sit on the couch and I realize that I forgot my laptop at home. I absolutely need my laptop for work. So, I had to drive home at 1:30am last night. Good times. I was exhausted and I still am.

Let’s roll back to the weekend though. Friday night I took a little road trip into New York to bring E home. Love spending time with her. She loves to talk like I do so it was a fun ride. Saturday, Sarah & I went down to her parent’s boat and we laid poolside. Talk about R&R – the weather, the pool, the company was all perfect. So the last 4 days (because Thursday night was fun too) have really helped my spirits. Even though I’m tired I feel good. Which will help when we play the other first place team tonight. This is the most important game of the year. We beat them for the Championship last year. They thought they had it in the bag and even had an article ready to run in the Sparta newspaper and we came in and knocked them off their throne. So, they are out for blood. We are both tied for first so this game will setup the rest of the season for who stays in that first place spot.

Today is moving pretty quickly. I need coffee – STAT!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Bring the Rain by Mercy Me

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Shattered

Psalm 6:2-4

Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long?
Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love

Psalm 62:5

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him

Isaiah 40:31

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint

Romans 5:3-5

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Summer Frostbite

Monday has rolled around yet again. If it's any indication as to how this week is going to go - the first thing I did when I came into work this morning was spill a giant cup of water all over me. I would love to say I did this for the fun of it but no. I was setting up my computer and reaching underneath to plug it in when I knocked one of my picture frames over which knocked the cup of water over I left on my desk from last week which spilled ALL OVER my shirt. Not to mention that it's just about freezing in my office so I'm lucky the water didn't turn to ice.

Speaking of... why can't buildings be set to a normal temperature during the summer time?! Why must it be artic cold to counteract the heat outside?? I'm all for temps between 67-71 in an office but here it usually ranges between 55-60 (I kid you not). It's almost impossible to dress like a normal human being. You want to dress for the heat outside but you also don't want to freeze to death inside. So today I dressed for warmth even though it's a steamy 90 degrees outside. I'm hoping to usher in the fall early (or at least break the heat wave) with the color scheme i'm wearing. I have a burnt orange 1/4 sleeve shirt, brown pants, and orange & brown flops. There's nothing bright and summery about me today - lol.

This summer is flying by and I can't even handle it. Can you all believe I have yet to lay my rear end on a beach?!? There is something so severely wrong with that. I live in Jersey - i'm supposed to be parked at the Jersey Shore during the summertime. Apparently not this season. I'd like to get there just once though - just ONCE. Is that too much to ask?? I can't complain because i've had some great weekends but i'm determined to beach it in August. Maybe i'll go this coming Sunday - who's in??

I took a mental health day on Friday. I definitely needed it. This weekend was filled with anxiety, drama, tears, frustration, and pain but also with love, caring, humor, fun, and relaxation. I'm sure I can toss a few more adjectives in there to describe it but I think that's a good summary. Outside of all of the difficulties & turmoil that surround my life right now I am incredibley blessed. I need to focus on the good because it's so easy to get caught up in everything that's going wrong. And there was a lot of good this weekend. I spent some amazing quality time (and some really fun times) with someone who is quickly becoming one of my best friends (I love you E - yep you now get a shout out on the blog since you'll probably read this... lol), I took a road trip and got to know Chrissy's future husband (Jay you are fabulous & funny - as torturous as it was i'm glad Saturday happened because it helped me get to know you more) and spent some much needed time with her (Chrissy - I love you. You have been my friend for nearly a decade now and my life would not be the same without you. I don't know how I could have gotten through Saturday night if you weren't there), I fell in love with New York all over again, I danced, I ate amazing food, I laughed, I spent some fun time outdoors, I played with my friends nieces and there's something so refreshing in the heart & soul of little kids, I watched a good friend get married - all things I need to be thankful for. All things that help me get through this season of my life.

No softball today (and no segue into the next topic of conversation -lol). I'm supposed to do dinner with a friend but I don't think that's happening since I haven't heard from her. Which means I should probably do laundry since i'll have the time tonight. Ugh - I HATE laundry. HATE, HATE, HATE. When i'm rich i'm hiring someone to do it for me. Actually, when i'm rich i'm going to live my life in a bathing suit on a tropical island so I won't need to hire anyone to do my laundry because I won't have any. So, laundry & i'll probably catch up on some shows I have DVR'd. That's my life tonight.

Alright, I should do some actual work. "Looks like someone's got a Case of the Monday's"

Joanna: So, where do you work, Peter?
Peter Gibbons: Initech.
Joanna: In... yeah, what do you do there?
Peter Gibbons: I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch.
Joanna: What's that?
Peter Gibbons: Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.
Joanna: Oh, really? About an hour ago... so you're gonna get another job?
Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'd like another job.
Joanna: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and...
Peter Gibbons: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either.
Joanna: Well, so what do you wanna do?
Peter Gibbons: I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my apartment and watch 'Kung Fu'. Do you ever watch 'Kung Fu'?
Joanna: I love 'Kung Fu'.
Peter Gibbons: Channel 39.
Joanna: Totally.
Peter Gibbons: You should come over and watch 'Kung Fu' tonight.
Joanna: Ok. Ok. Can we order lunch first? Ok.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Psalm 42

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"

These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"

My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?"

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Weddings, weddings, and more weddings

Next weekend starts my wedding season. I have 3 weddings in the next 3 months. Next Saturday is Jenn & Jay's in Connecticut. It's special to me because I've watched Jay grow tremendously over the last few years and Jenn is truly his soul mate. In August I have a very fancy & expensive wedding in Newark. It's an all day affair with 2, yes 2 receptions. It'll be fun but not exactly my cup of tea. In September I have my friend Caroline's wedding. I am thoroughly looking forward to it because I will be at a table with all of my friends from work, good food, and great music. Not that any of the other wedding's won't have that but she's Cuban and those Cuban's know how to party.

I think I found my dress for the weddings as well. I can do a triple showing of it since there won't be a repeat person at any of them. I would display it here but I want it to be a surprise for those who will be seeing me. Let's just say it's very fun and very Marilyn Monroe. I'm not 100% sold on it but i'm close.

It's almost Friday... thank goodness!! The hair is getting done on Saturday. Any suggestions for colors?? I'm keeping the length just putting a ton of layers in it since it's so heavy.

I seriously need a vacation - a vacation all by myself. I need to think, clear my head, get myself focused on what I want to do with my life. I'm a disaster.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Happy 4th!!!

I know the 4th of July is tomorrow but I won't be working (or blogging) so I'm sending my best wishes today!

Softball has been great this week. It truly is saving me from myself right now. This is going to be a short post but I've been going through a lot of stuff lately as most of you know (or have read). Last night was a difficult night and I'm laying down some hard boundaries in certain relationships. I often doubt myself and want to retract but I read this quote this morning and it really gave me some much need encouragement...

The keynote speaker at the breakfast, Hollywood producer Mark Joseph, quoted a recent cover article in Christianity Today by professors Daniel Taylor and Mark McCloskey that said:

"In premodern times, the courage of a leader often had to be physical. In the last 500 years it is more often moral. Moral courage is the ability to do what's right even when it is deeply unpopular, even dangerous. Courage is only found where there is the genuine possibility of loss -- loss of friends, reputation, status, power, possessions or, at the extremes, freedom or life."

Have a good holiday! Enjoy some fireworks - I know I will!!!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Two posts - One day

I know!!! Mark this day on your calendar because it will probably be the only time you'll see this happen.

Read the post below first then come up to this one. I just listened to an online sermon about the Dangers of the Emerging Church. Rob Bell was mentioned in it and I have some serious issues with him and his beliefs. But outside of him I do have some major concerns in regards to this topic. I want to hear your thoughts about the "Emerging Church" good or bad.

So, if I still have readers out there it's your turn to weigh in. I'm listening!!!!

Have some consideration

If you guys thought I was lying about the IcyHot think again. I'm not kidding when I say I feel like a 70 year old woman this morning. It hurts to laugh, cough, move my arm - just plain move in general - lol. But for all of the physical anguish i'm in today i'm in a great mood. Softball is very theraputic for me. And I needed it after my day yesterday.

Ahhhh yes, the day. Monday. Why are Monday's always the worst. I blog about this all of the time and it never ceases to amaze me just how awful they are. Whatever emotional barracade I build up over the weekend comes crashing down around me. I'm so not kidding about this. I'll spare you the details of the morning because it's way too personal but in the afternoon my boss called me into her office for another "closed door" meeting. I find that i've been getting these once a month since about January. Apparently my job performance sucks. It wasn't exactly said like that but it was pretty darn close. Why you might ask. Because my boss is a micromanager and nitpicks about the DUMBEST things - like her 10 minute rant about how I didn't say hi to her 2 weeks ago when she walked in the door. I say hi to EVERYBODY when they walk in. I remember that day clearly. First of all it was a ROUGH morning and second I was so super busy that I didn't even hear her say Hi. It was the first and only time i've ever not said it. After that she sugarcoated it with, "look, i know you have a lot of personal stuff going on and I haven't lost faith in you. I believe in you and that this downturn will pass... yada, yada" It was nice but once your kicked when you are already down the sugarcoating isn't all that sweet. Now, could my job performance be improved - absolutely. But, i'm bored. I do the same thing everyday which is pretty much sit here, answer phones, and edit resumes. I'm way over qualified for this job. That's not me bragging... it's the truth. The problem is 1. I love everyone I work with 2. My bosses really are great bosses 3. I can come and go whenever I pretty much want, make my own hours, and we get tons of time off for holiday's and vacations 4. It's a steady job and with the economy the way it is i'd be crazy to jump ship 5. If i ever pass my Praxis next month this job will give me the flexibility to go to school. So you see - as much as I want to spork my eyes out it makes no sense to look elsewhere.

Let's now talk about the title of this blog - have some consideration. Every Tuesday starting from today until the end of the summer is Jazz night in Westfield. People swarm into Westfield like cockroaches to listen to the live Jazz bands they have playing all around town. The stores are open late, sidewalk restaurants and cafes are buzzing, and there are a ton of things for the kids to do. But the town is PACKED. So, instead of fighting the traffic later on this evening from this point forward I will be taking the train on Tuesdays. Now, if I wasn't so lazy in the morning i'd catch the 7:17 train. But, because i'm lazy I usually catch the 7:42 express train into Newark. I left my house at 7:30 to take the 5 minute walk to the train which would leave me over 5 minutes to buy a ticket. The first of the month at a station is like the first of the month at a welfare office. The line to buy the tickets was ridiculous. So much so that the train pulled up early at 7:39 and I watched the train pull away at 7:42 still waiting in line to get a ticket. The next train was at 7:50 and it was a local train - no big deal. The guy that was 2 people ahead of me (now, we ALL can see there is a really LONG line) decides to buy 10 one way tickets. 10! These ticket machines print like your watching paint dry. I didn't see 10 people with him. Is there a need to buy 10 one way tickets NOW??!! Needless to say I BARELY made the 7:50 train but I did - thank goodness.

Between softball yesterday and taking the train today I realized that I need to slow my life down. I'm always in such a rush and I try to be in too many places at one time. I blame my parents for that. Some of you know my mom (and I love her) but if you don't - if I need to be somewhere and i'm not there 1 minute early all hell breaks loose. My mom loses her mind on me. So I have an unrealistic sense of urgency almost all the time. Plus, it's a control thing for me. If I take the trian I really have no control over times or when i'm getting somewhere. If I have my car I can come and go whenever I want and there's no waiting (unless there's traffic of course and in traffic my stress level goes from 0 to 10 in less than a second). I'm way to wound up, way too stressed, and I care way too much about being places if there really isn't a specific time to be somewhere. Who wants to live life at warp speed or constantly stressed?! I mean, I know I live in the Northeast at the center of the world pretty much but I can at least attempt to slow down. It will never be a snails pace but maybe it'll be a little bit slower than what it is now.

We have this radio in the office that usually plays 100.3, 103.5, or 95.5 - all Top 40 stations pretty much. There is this guy in our office who sits at a desk pretty close to my front desk. He has his own radio. He INSISTS on playing Iron Maiden and death metal every morning and then again late in the afternoon. Not only that but he plays it soooo loud that I can't even concentrate. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!! You ask him to turn it down and he flips out. Complains that the other radio is too loud and since he hates listening to it he has to drown it out by playing his extra loud. It's an everyday battle. Can you imagine listening to Iron Maiden every morning without wanting to throw yourself off a building???

Short week for me - we have a half day on Thursday and then off on Friday. So far I have no idea what i'm doing really. The game plan is fireworks at Brookdale park Thursday night with Tommy and a bunch of friends. Brookdale fireworks by the way are probably the best in NJ. I'm hoping the pool at Sarah's parents boat on Friday. Saturday is a BBQ at my parents trailer and Sunday I will be vegging in front of the TV (I hope). That's the game plan for the holiday weekend.

Alright - even though it's Tuesday it's technically my Wednesday. Woohooo!!